I feel this so much. What im sharing is deep stuff about narcissist structures both internally, and externally. I feel like im shouting into a void and that no one is listening though. And my nervous system is fried with the live-streamed genocide, the cowardice and complicit of much of the world and the utter failure of humanity on this issue.
I would love to collaborate with like-minded people. I know what i offer is valuable, but my defences the lack of support and strategy are the perfect storm shieldling me from being fully visible to the right people.
I would like help and to work collaboratively on my story. I have shared parts with people, but feel like you may be able to help me share it in a way that needs it to be. How are you interested in doing this? Do we chat on the phone? My story includes a sociopathic narcissistic incestually abusing uber controlling father (started at age 10months with my mom helping him till my 20s), then married a Christian minister sociopathic narcissist abuser and was in a cultish church that basically finished me off as far as any sense of self I had. My survival skills were people pleasing, human chameleon, perfectionistism, over achiever, always had my shit together looking person who had no sense of herself and my journey out of all of that to be who I am today, a whole person who actually loves herself and who has turned her pain into true power, her losses into wisdom and found the mission and calling of her life, she has felt her entire life. Freedom to be me is who I am now, something I searched for for more then 50 years.
Yes, I hear you on that. I had a similar relationship with my father who committed suicide in 2004. People in my family sweep major mental health issues under the rug with frankly devastating consequences. So it is up to me to break those patterns.
My dad was a diagnosed narcissist (his psychiatrist determined "what" he was). He died several years ago and I haven't missed him. My family is so fucked up. I have two sisters and a brother; no one is married, no one has any long term friendships. There is abuse among them (to each other and to their children), and lots of addiction. My childhood (all our childhoods) was very painful. My life continues to be painful. I've done years of therapy and I'm now I'm 67 and very physically ill (a lot of people,
who are similarly ill, die of organ failure or suicide) - to the point where I don't have the energy to recover. So I am where I am and, barring a miracle, I will stay here till my death. All of my relationships have been with narcissists or addicts. I'm close to my mom but I will lose her one of these days - she's 88 and quite sick - I'm trying to enjoy her every day. One of my sisters is very toxic and abusive, and my other sibs, including me, are afraid of getting close to anyone (like me, or my mom). So life has been hard, due to my personal narcissist. I'm not working anymore (thank God because that was intensely anxiety producing); and I live by myself. I decide who I see and when; my anxiety is still present but not as bad.
Hey fellow escapee from the Narcissist Thunderdome—
I saw your story, and it hit like a flashbang. I’ve been through the same war zone—gaslighting, guilt trips, and a partner so manipulative she could convince a mirror it was broken.
After my autism diagnosis in 2020, she launched a three-year campaign to convince me I didn’t deserve to live. Not metaphorically. Literally. And for a while—I believed her.
I tried to end it. Twice.
I failed. Twice.
Which, in hindsight, was the best failure of my life.
Because now? I’m doing what you’re doing. I’m using the wreckage as raw material. I’m taking my story back from the people who tried to write me out of it.
So here I am—scars, sarcasm, and one hell of a German Shepherd—and I’d love to collaborate. Let’s speak the unspeakable. Let’s drag shame into the spotlight until it sweats through its blazer. Let’s build something loud, honest, and unkillable.
You’re doing amazing things. I write about loss and grief and death. I’d love to interview you for my interview series, which I’ve paused after losing my dad two weeks ago. Will be starting up again this week.
Thank you. We had a complicated relationship. I was estranged from him for most of my life. It’s a different loss than that of my son’s. Lists of grief for what wasn’t.
I feel this so much. What im sharing is deep stuff about narcissist structures both internally, and externally. I feel like im shouting into a void and that no one is listening though. And my nervous system is fried with the live-streamed genocide, the cowardice and complicit of much of the world and the utter failure of humanity on this issue.
I would love to collaborate with like-minded people. I know what i offer is valuable, but my defences the lack of support and strategy are the perfect storm shieldling me from being fully visible to the right people.
I am definitely checking you out and following you🫶🏻.
I would like help and to work collaboratively on my story. I have shared parts with people, but feel like you may be able to help me share it in a way that needs it to be. How are you interested in doing this? Do we chat on the phone? My story includes a sociopathic narcissistic incestually abusing uber controlling father (started at age 10months with my mom helping him till my 20s), then married a Christian minister sociopathic narcissist abuser and was in a cultish church that basically finished me off as far as any sense of self I had. My survival skills were people pleasing, human chameleon, perfectionistism, over achiever, always had my shit together looking person who had no sense of herself and my journey out of all of that to be who I am today, a whole person who actually loves herself and who has turned her pain into true power, her losses into wisdom and found the mission and calling of her life, she has felt her entire life. Freedom to be me is who I am now, something I searched for for more then 50 years.
Please keep sharing. This is powerful ❤️
Yes, I hear you on that. I had a similar relationship with my father who committed suicide in 2004. People in my family sweep major mental health issues under the rug with frankly devastating consequences. So it is up to me to break those patterns.
Yes, you are setting a new standard - authenticity and truthful living. It sets people free. Thank you for your honesty🩷
Yes🥰
“Authenticity and truthful living” ~ exactly. We needs a better standard. It has been a long time coming, I believe. I have no room for anything less.
I agree. I write to help others. If we all start writing, wow!
I'm sorry you went through that ❤️
Cody, your success is well deserved.
I fucking love this!!! Hell yeah
Thank you!!
Let’s get the podcast rescheduled. 💪🏼
My dad was a diagnosed narcissist (his psychiatrist determined "what" he was). He died several years ago and I haven't missed him. My family is so fucked up. I have two sisters and a brother; no one is married, no one has any long term friendships. There is abuse among them (to each other and to their children), and lots of addiction. My childhood (all our childhoods) was very painful. My life continues to be painful. I've done years of therapy and I'm now I'm 67 and very physically ill (a lot of people,
who are similarly ill, die of organ failure or suicide) - to the point where I don't have the energy to recover. So I am where I am and, barring a miracle, I will stay here till my death. All of my relationships have been with narcissists or addicts. I'm close to my mom but I will lose her one of these days - she's 88 and quite sick - I'm trying to enjoy her every day. One of my sisters is very toxic and abusive, and my other sibs, including me, are afraid of getting close to anyone (like me, or my mom). So life has been hard, due to my personal narcissist. I'm not working anymore (thank God because that was intensely anxiety producing); and I live by myself. I decide who I see and when; my anxiety is still present but not as bad.
So that's most of my story.
Thanks for listening.
Hey fellow escapee from the Narcissist Thunderdome—
I saw your story, and it hit like a flashbang. I’ve been through the same war zone—gaslighting, guilt trips, and a partner so manipulative she could convince a mirror it was broken.
After my autism diagnosis in 2020, she launched a three-year campaign to convince me I didn’t deserve to live. Not metaphorically. Literally. And for a while—I believed her.
I tried to end it. Twice.
I failed. Twice.
Which, in hindsight, was the best failure of my life.
Because now? I’m doing what you’re doing. I’m using the wreckage as raw material. I’m taking my story back from the people who tried to write me out of it.
So here I am—scars, sarcasm, and one hell of a German Shepherd—and I’d love to collaborate. Let’s speak the unspeakable. Let’s drag shame into the spotlight until it sweats through its blazer. Let’s build something loud, honest, and unkillable.
You in?
You’re doing amazing things. I write about loss and grief and death. I’d love to interview you for my interview series, which I’ve paused after losing my dad two weeks ago. Will be starting up again this week.
Oh my gosh, I’m sorry you lost your father. Wishing you all good things.
Thank you. We had a complicated relationship. I was estranged from him for most of my life. It’s a different loss than that of my son’s. Lists of grief for what wasn’t.