I’ve spent 2.5 years trying to “get over” the anxiety from a rollover accident I probably shouldn’t have survived. EMDR helped, but the panic still hits when I see reckless drivers—and maybe that’s okay. Maybe the point isn’t to erase the fear, but to understand the version of me it created.
It sucks when it paralyzes me, sure—but it’s also made me more aware, more alert. That’s not weakness. That’s survival.
I’ve read three of your posts past three days. To me they’ve built on each other and this one completed it. (Although I’m sure there’s many more that will help too.)
I’ve just been wounded by the loss of a friend. She ended our friendship without reason or notice, except that she needs time to self-retreat from the world to heal herself. We had a daily check-in and were each other’s “person.” This is a wound that will last and cannot be healed. I’m not trying to fix it. Just accept it.
Acceptance works…I’ve struggled as well to let go of friends since 2020, and acceptance, well, I miss my friends. And even though its been several years, there’s still a spot in my heart for them.
For instance, I have a four-year-old part terrified of abandonment. When she gets triggered, instead of helplessly being taken over by her terror, I can sit with her, acknowledge the truth of her pain and assure her that what is happening today pales in comparison to her pain and I've got it covered.
I have a six-year-old part who is a master of self-deception and disassociation. When someone in the present treats us unkindly and she wants to excuse their behavior, often by blaming herself, I can gently explain that their actions are unacceptable and it's okay to say so.
I have internal maternal and paternal protector parts that might want to rip someone's heart out, but these also deserve my attention and care.
I see all my parts and I honor them as best I can. I don't expect them to be "all better."
I have a twelve-year-old who can sense bullshit a mile away. All the other parts, myself included, used to insist she "shut the fuck up" before we all get in trouble. To her I listen with gratitude.
It all sounds crazy, like multiple personality disorder, but it's not. It is more like a cohesive shatter that when brought under the microscope of self-examination and self-awareness allows us to function as a single unit. No one is what they called integrated—the definition of modern psycho-spiritual healing—every part is unique with its own wounds and special gifts.
We are a family living inside one body just as our body is part of the human family.
Keep it coming Cody. I am sure that part of you that over excels is being used to flood this space for the benefit of us all.
The post was very meaningful for me. After all the work, all the incredible discoveries and every ounce of healing gleaned; in the final analysis, this is the final note of my novel. xoxoxo
yes this is great! i'm just tarting to realise this in my journey too - it's ok not to be perfect it's good to have tools and strategies and new skills to deal with it all but it's also probably not going to go away completely and thats' ok!
In other words… it’s ok if we walk with a limp…
I’ve spent 2.5 years trying to “get over” the anxiety from a rollover accident I probably shouldn’t have survived. EMDR helped, but the panic still hits when I see reckless drivers—and maybe that’s okay. Maybe the point isn’t to erase the fear, but to understand the version of me it created.
It sucks when it paralyzes me, sure—but it’s also made me more aware, more alert. That’s not weakness. That’s survival.
And survival isn’t a bad thing at all.
I’ve shamed myself for years because I’m not yet over a trauma that happened decades ago. My body has never completely recovered.
Others have shamed me over and over for not “getting over it.” Their shaming piled on my self shame has only hurt me more.
Thank you for showing me another way. Brilliant!
I’ve read three of your posts past three days. To me they’ve built on each other and this one completed it. (Although I’m sure there’s many more that will help too.)
I’ve just been wounded by the loss of a friend. She ended our friendship without reason or notice, except that she needs time to self-retreat from the world to heal herself. We had a daily check-in and were each other’s “person.” This is a wound that will last and cannot be healed. I’m not trying to fix it. Just accept it.
Thank you for your wise words.
Acceptance works…I’ve struggled as well to let go of friends since 2020, and acceptance, well, I miss my friends. And even though its been several years, there’s still a spot in my heart for them.
Thank you so much Gail!
Sometimes the best outcome is awareness.
For instance, I have a four-year-old part terrified of abandonment. When she gets triggered, instead of helplessly being taken over by her terror, I can sit with her, acknowledge the truth of her pain and assure her that what is happening today pales in comparison to her pain and I've got it covered.
I have a six-year-old part who is a master of self-deception and disassociation. When someone in the present treats us unkindly and she wants to excuse their behavior, often by blaming herself, I can gently explain that their actions are unacceptable and it's okay to say so.
I have internal maternal and paternal protector parts that might want to rip someone's heart out, but these also deserve my attention and care.
I see all my parts and I honor them as best I can. I don't expect them to be "all better."
I have a twelve-year-old who can sense bullshit a mile away. All the other parts, myself included, used to insist she "shut the fuck up" before we all get in trouble. To her I listen with gratitude.
It all sounds crazy, like multiple personality disorder, but it's not. It is more like a cohesive shatter that when brought under the microscope of self-examination and self-awareness allows us to function as a single unit. No one is what they called integrated—the definition of modern psycho-spiritual healing—every part is unique with its own wounds and special gifts.
We are a family living inside one body just as our body is part of the human family.
Keep it coming Cody. I am sure that part of you that over excels is being used to flood this space for the benefit of us all.
Thank you Rachel!!
The post was very meaningful for me. After all the work, all the incredible discoveries and every ounce of healing gleaned; in the final analysis, this is the final note of my novel. xoxoxo
Right on, man. Right on.
yes this is great! i'm just tarting to realise this in my journey too - it's ok not to be perfect it's good to have tools and strategies and new skills to deal with it all but it's also probably not going to go away completely and thats' ok!
Thank you so much for this. I definitely needed to hear it.
As of lately I feel like I am carrying grief in my hips… now it makes more sense
this one is relatable
Cody... I got really emotional reading this. I’m glad I read it right before bed. Thank you so much.😭🫶🏻
Nice👍👍👍
Thank you Sae !
Thank you Heather!