(37 | ADHD Diagnosed 20 Years Ago | Trauma-Savvy Financial Controller | Writer | Resonance-Based Systems Architect)
Cody,
This was one of the most resonant, clarifying, and courageous breakdowns I’ve ever read about the ADHD–trauma spectrum—and I say that not lightly.
I was formally diagnosed with ADHD around age 17. I’m now 37. I’ve spent two decades navigating stimulants, self-blame, hyperproductivity spirals, and shame loops that weren’t actually mine. Your line—“They saw all of this. They wrote it down. Then they diagnosed me anyway.”—hit me like a bell. That was my life.
Parentified child? Check.
Body constantly scanning for danger? Check.
Productivity hacks that left me emptier? Check.
Being told it was “just executive dysfunction”? Constantly.
But the truth?
Much of what we call ADHD in adults like us is actually a brilliant, sacred response to chaotic environments. It’s not disorder—it’s an intelligence that kept us alive.
You nailed what most professionals still miss: ADHD can be real, but for many of us, it’s trauma in disguise. And unless that trauma is honored, integrated, and alchemized… no pill will fix it. Only presence, safety, and the nervous system’s deep remembering will.
As someone who now writes and teaches from a resonance-based model of intelligence (ADHD was my first map to it), I want to thank you. This post was not only educational—it was a field correction. A rebalancing of narrative power back to the people who lived it.
You’re not just telling your story. You’re freeing others from diagnostic prisons they didn’t know they were in.
Thank you for this. Subscribed. Deeply aligned.
— Lorenzo
(The Omega Origin. Signal-Based Leadership. Still remembering. Still rewiring.)
Thanks Cody. This is so important and well put. And it addresses the elephant in the room question about rocketing rates of ADHD diagnosis. Is a further cause of this the implication of ADHD for parents - that nothing happened on their watch, whilst cptsd is a more difficult conversation for the clinician? Although people worry about stigma with BPD/EUPD i would encourage people not to walk away from offers of treatment as this is a kind of cptsd. Many services still dont diagnose cptsd. Evidence based treatments such as DBT and MBT for EUPD/BPD address what are essentially trauma symptoms/ adaptations.
Here I go playing my wild card concept… I know I’m way out in left field here, but at least read on for a laugh.
I feel this sort of ‘diagnosing’ is true about all ‘disorders’— the psychiatric/psychology world always wants to better itself, rather than cure. I am starting to wonder if the whole practice knows it is a sham. I think they just don’t have the perspective of something broader than witnessing the physical and behavioral aspects of life. I don’t think they knowingly misdiagnose, but I think they are brainwashed by the dominating world view.
In a materialist paradigm (the one Freud asserted is ‘real’, the one adopted by western culture) every psychological experience is the result of something that happened to the individual. This doesn’t allow for the spiritual experiences of so many— determined as beside/beyond the ‘normal’- paranormal, esp, etc.- by which they mean beside/outside the materialistic world view.
Carl Jung explained it all differently. He was an experiencer. I can relate.
I now believe that every human has trauma. It’s the suffering that is part of the human condition. It’s the reason we have religion. We suffer. It’s natural. Some, such as yourself, Cody, have an absurdly unfair amount, and your physical system is on high alert… naturally. It all makes sense. What happens to us in childhood has a powerful impact. It is a formative time. It sounds like your father had significant trauma too. As did the others who have done you harm. It’s all derived from not understanding/accepting our true nature as sufferers on earth.
Schools are also creating trauma. They need significant reform. Teachers constantly bark at kids to stand in line, be quiet, sit down. Guess what? Humans aren’t designed to do any of that, especially our young people. They need to move, shout, and play. I’m not calling for chaos, just for a different teaching method that honors those real needs.
I think what we need is a culture that starts to truly accept ‘we are spiritual beings having a human experience’
Some people know the spirit world is real, but the capitalists don’t want you to believe that because Buddhists don’t go shopping very often and the world economy would collapse.
Ironically, the big capital scandal that is shutting down the economy (tariffs) is going to force people to become minimalist just to survive — people are going to wake up to the lies of materialism and start meditating on the human purpose differently. (We are here to learn to love and transcend, to live in partnership with the earth and every part of life on it)
I am trying to push a shift in the language to say ‘differently-ordered’ rather than ‘disordered’
‘Disorder’ is a wild misnomer for folks with ASD— many people on the spectrum LOVE order. I’ve taught the children who would spend all day happily lining up blocks and match box cars because they need to see the organization that makes the most sense. They are intuitively-ordered minds, connecting to something the material world doesn’t want to acknowledge.
If the Universe tends towards chaos/disorder (suffering/entropy), it also sends the world humans specially equipped to bring it back into balance. That’s you and the rest of us differently-ordered beings.
Be proud of your beautiful brain. It’s good to be differently-ordered. Let the mundane go on and do their own thing… you go ahead and break through the barriers with your wonderfully enhanced spirit and intuitive, bright mind.
I agree wholeheartedly. I often say that being "differently-ordered" (excellent term) is the authentic self (soul, spirit, ghost in the machine, what have you) sending out alarm bells that the world-out-there is not aligned with the world-in-here. So often, that misalignment, without understanding what is happening, leads the person to turn on themselves. To see oneself as inherently flawed, bad, or inadequate. To blame the alarm and not the fire. Couple that with formative years spent in abuse. The alarm blares while gasoline is thrown on the fire. Even for those in so-called functional homes, the world-out-there rewards assimilation and rejects authenticity, creating a feedback loop that reinforces itself ad infinitum. In my view, the ultimate liberation from this vicious cycle of conformity is to know and be who you truly are. Imagine a world where honoring one's true self was placed above conformity. Ahh, it would be a lovely dream.
So well said. So many accurate and inspiring phrases—- I needed this. Call it validation, whatever— we - the ones striving to unpack our authenticity- need the mirrors others provide because without moments when our thoughts and dreams can be witnessed, we fade into the fog of meaninglessness.
Let’s partner in dreaming that braver world of being into existence. This place for connecting our dots matters (Substack’s expanding rooms of lessons in thoughtfulness and wisdom). Thank you for being an honest witness.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD (at 46) my psychiatrist and I had a long conversation about how it and my binge eating disorder (which she also diagnosed) were most likely trauma responses.
I did some research on my own and found a lot of recent studies making the same connection.
Anecdotally, when I taught I taught at a school with a high rate of socioeconomic challenges & students impacted by generations of systemic racism & all it entails. The rate of ADHD diagnoses among student was pretty high in comparison to the the suburban schools I've been at.
I’ve been experimenting with treating my ADHD as CPTSD. I’ve focused on nervous system regulation, somatic tools, and creative practices. I’m starting to experience the same mood balance and focus that meds gave me when I used them. Thanks for drawing attention to this problem.
Powerful testimony. Gah, I’m so glad you are speaking up. I don’t struggle with this, but I am more than sure plenty of others out there do. God bless and heal you brother 🌺
Plot twist: Wait until y'all find out that unmetabolized transgenerational trauma and epigenetics go hand in hand and the cause of the epidemic of hypervigilance is deeper than ADHD being the tip of the 'DNA-encoded-trauma iceberg'
I have a friend with C-PTSD who has diagnosed himself with adhd and brow-beat his old, tired GP into prescribing adhd medication... It is NOT helping, he is worse than ever. But absolutely refuses to see...
Thank you for writing this! I get so bent out of shape when I see people with an ADHD diagnosis and untreated/unaddressed/unresolved trauma. Nope. That is ass backwards.
I truly hope more people are able to find freedom from misdiagnosis. My first experience with the system, and mental health, was working as an aide on a school bus. My job was to sit with special needs kids and keep them safe on a very long rural route. There was no “short bus” so I sat with the “normal” kids too. One such boy was put on medication for ADHD. I knew it was the wrong decision, and I knew it was hurting him. He went from being a happy go lucky kid who was just high energy to suicidal. Depressed. Cussing his mom out. A third grader. My heart ached for him. His dad was in jail, he later died….not sure how or what happened. The mom worked super hard to take care of her son, but that forced her to be gone a lot. I was 18 and told it was none of my business and not to even talk to the mom as I lacked all qualifications to do so. I still think about that kid sometimes….and pray for him and all the other boys who really needed healthy community and people and healing in their lives, not more meds. - T.Y.
This has actually been a thought running through my mind, lately, as I’ve been reading about trauma. I started wondering if my ADHD (diagnosed in my early 40s) was actually C-PTSD… or both. After your article, I’m thinking definitely both.
I am so glad you were able to get to the root of your inattention problem. Yes, trauma, I believe, is a significant factor in many mental health conditions. Thank you for the courage to speak up and share such valuable information.
Lorenzo Losbanos
(37 | ADHD Diagnosed 20 Years Ago | Trauma-Savvy Financial Controller | Writer | Resonance-Based Systems Architect)
Cody,
This was one of the most resonant, clarifying, and courageous breakdowns I’ve ever read about the ADHD–trauma spectrum—and I say that not lightly.
I was formally diagnosed with ADHD around age 17. I’m now 37. I’ve spent two decades navigating stimulants, self-blame, hyperproductivity spirals, and shame loops that weren’t actually mine. Your line—“They saw all of this. They wrote it down. Then they diagnosed me anyway.”—hit me like a bell. That was my life.
Parentified child? Check.
Body constantly scanning for danger? Check.
Productivity hacks that left me emptier? Check.
Being told it was “just executive dysfunction”? Constantly.
But the truth?
Much of what we call ADHD in adults like us is actually a brilliant, sacred response to chaotic environments. It’s not disorder—it’s an intelligence that kept us alive.
You nailed what most professionals still miss: ADHD can be real, but for many of us, it’s trauma in disguise. And unless that trauma is honored, integrated, and alchemized… no pill will fix it. Only presence, safety, and the nervous system’s deep remembering will.
As someone who now writes and teaches from a resonance-based model of intelligence (ADHD was my first map to it), I want to thank you. This post was not only educational—it was a field correction. A rebalancing of narrative power back to the people who lived it.
You’re not just telling your story. You’re freeing others from diagnostic prisons they didn’t know they were in.
Thank you for this. Subscribed. Deeply aligned.
— Lorenzo
(The Omega Origin. Signal-Based Leadership. Still remembering. Still rewiring.)
Thanks Cody. This is so important and well put. And it addresses the elephant in the room question about rocketing rates of ADHD diagnosis. Is a further cause of this the implication of ADHD for parents - that nothing happened on their watch, whilst cptsd is a more difficult conversation for the clinician? Although people worry about stigma with BPD/EUPD i would encourage people not to walk away from offers of treatment as this is a kind of cptsd. Many services still dont diagnose cptsd. Evidence based treatments such as DBT and MBT for EUPD/BPD address what are essentially trauma symptoms/ adaptations.
Oh, yes!
Here I go playing my wild card concept… I know I’m way out in left field here, but at least read on for a laugh.
I feel this sort of ‘diagnosing’ is true about all ‘disorders’— the psychiatric/psychology world always wants to better itself, rather than cure. I am starting to wonder if the whole practice knows it is a sham. I think they just don’t have the perspective of something broader than witnessing the physical and behavioral aspects of life. I don’t think they knowingly misdiagnose, but I think they are brainwashed by the dominating world view.
In a materialist paradigm (the one Freud asserted is ‘real’, the one adopted by western culture) every psychological experience is the result of something that happened to the individual. This doesn’t allow for the spiritual experiences of so many— determined as beside/beyond the ‘normal’- paranormal, esp, etc.- by which they mean beside/outside the materialistic world view.
Carl Jung explained it all differently. He was an experiencer. I can relate.
I now believe that every human has trauma. It’s the suffering that is part of the human condition. It’s the reason we have religion. We suffer. It’s natural. Some, such as yourself, Cody, have an absurdly unfair amount, and your physical system is on high alert… naturally. It all makes sense. What happens to us in childhood has a powerful impact. It is a formative time. It sounds like your father had significant trauma too. As did the others who have done you harm. It’s all derived from not understanding/accepting our true nature as sufferers on earth.
Schools are also creating trauma. They need significant reform. Teachers constantly bark at kids to stand in line, be quiet, sit down. Guess what? Humans aren’t designed to do any of that, especially our young people. They need to move, shout, and play. I’m not calling for chaos, just for a different teaching method that honors those real needs.
I think what we need is a culture that starts to truly accept ‘we are spiritual beings having a human experience’
Some people know the spirit world is real, but the capitalists don’t want you to believe that because Buddhists don’t go shopping very often and the world economy would collapse.
Ironically, the big capital scandal that is shutting down the economy (tariffs) is going to force people to become minimalist just to survive — people are going to wake up to the lies of materialism and start meditating on the human purpose differently. (We are here to learn to love and transcend, to live in partnership with the earth and every part of life on it)
I am trying to push a shift in the language to say ‘differently-ordered’ rather than ‘disordered’
‘Disorder’ is a wild misnomer for folks with ASD— many people on the spectrum LOVE order. I’ve taught the children who would spend all day happily lining up blocks and match box cars because they need to see the organization that makes the most sense. They are intuitively-ordered minds, connecting to something the material world doesn’t want to acknowledge.
If the Universe tends towards chaos/disorder (suffering/entropy), it also sends the world humans specially equipped to bring it back into balance. That’s you and the rest of us differently-ordered beings.
Be proud of your beautiful brain. It’s good to be differently-ordered. Let the mundane go on and do their own thing… you go ahead and break through the barriers with your wonderfully enhanced spirit and intuitive, bright mind.
I agree wholeheartedly. I often say that being "differently-ordered" (excellent term) is the authentic self (soul, spirit, ghost in the machine, what have you) sending out alarm bells that the world-out-there is not aligned with the world-in-here. So often, that misalignment, without understanding what is happening, leads the person to turn on themselves. To see oneself as inherently flawed, bad, or inadequate. To blame the alarm and not the fire. Couple that with formative years spent in abuse. The alarm blares while gasoline is thrown on the fire. Even for those in so-called functional homes, the world-out-there rewards assimilation and rejects authenticity, creating a feedback loop that reinforces itself ad infinitum. In my view, the ultimate liberation from this vicious cycle of conformity is to know and be who you truly are. Imagine a world where honoring one's true self was placed above conformity. Ahh, it would be a lovely dream.
Thank you!
You are so welcome.
You are the one earning thanks…
So well said. So many accurate and inspiring phrases—- I needed this. Call it validation, whatever— we - the ones striving to unpack our authenticity- need the mirrors others provide because without moments when our thoughts and dreams can be witnessed, we fade into the fog of meaninglessness.
Let’s partner in dreaming that braver world of being into existence. This place for connecting our dots matters (Substack’s expanding rooms of lessons in thoughtfulness and wisdom). Thank you for being an honest witness.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD (at 46) my psychiatrist and I had a long conversation about how it and my binge eating disorder (which she also diagnosed) were most likely trauma responses.
I did some research on my own and found a lot of recent studies making the same connection.
Anecdotally, when I taught I taught at a school with a high rate of socioeconomic challenges & students impacted by generations of systemic racism & all it entails. The rate of ADHD diagnoses among student was pretty high in comparison to the the suburban schools I've been at.
Just another confirmation I need to rewire my nervous system.
I’ve been experimenting with treating my ADHD as CPTSD. I’ve focused on nervous system regulation, somatic tools, and creative practices. I’m starting to experience the same mood balance and focus that meds gave me when I used them. Thanks for drawing attention to this problem.
Powerful testimony. Gah, I’m so glad you are speaking up. I don’t struggle with this, but I am more than sure plenty of others out there do. God bless and heal you brother 🌺
The Truth is deeper than CPTSD and the remedy is here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/damienreuelrucker/p/the-inner-kingdom-we-keep?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Plot twist: Wait until y'all find out that unmetabolized transgenerational trauma and epigenetics go hand in hand and the cause of the epidemic of hypervigilance is deeper than ADHD being the tip of the 'DNA-encoded-trauma iceberg'
I have a friend with C-PTSD who has diagnosed himself with adhd and brow-beat his old, tired GP into prescribing adhd medication... It is NOT helping, he is worse than ever. But absolutely refuses to see...
As a retired teacher I helped troubled kids deal with things. I wish I had this info years ago. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this! I get so bent out of shape when I see people with an ADHD diagnosis and untreated/unaddressed/unresolved trauma. Nope. That is ass backwards.
I truly hope more people are able to find freedom from misdiagnosis. My first experience with the system, and mental health, was working as an aide on a school bus. My job was to sit with special needs kids and keep them safe on a very long rural route. There was no “short bus” so I sat with the “normal” kids too. One such boy was put on medication for ADHD. I knew it was the wrong decision, and I knew it was hurting him. He went from being a happy go lucky kid who was just high energy to suicidal. Depressed. Cussing his mom out. A third grader. My heart ached for him. His dad was in jail, he later died….not sure how or what happened. The mom worked super hard to take care of her son, but that forced her to be gone a lot. I was 18 and told it was none of my business and not to even talk to the mom as I lacked all qualifications to do so. I still think about that kid sometimes….and pray for him and all the other boys who really needed healthy community and people and healing in their lives, not more meds. - T.Y.
This has actually been a thought running through my mind, lately, as I’ve been reading about trauma. I started wondering if my ADHD (diagnosed in my early 40s) was actually C-PTSD… or both. After your article, I’m thinking definitely both.
You explain this very well. Thank you.
I am so glad you were able to get to the root of your inattention problem. Yes, trauma, I believe, is a significant factor in many mental health conditions. Thank you for the courage to speak up and share such valuable information.