This really hits home. It’s so true that sometimes anger isn’t just anger, it’s trauma speaking. Recognizing those signs makes all the difference. Grateful for the solutions shared here.
Cody this one hit a home run with me man!! I have really been here!! I honestly wanted to pick a qoute from every section it's so hard to choose!! I ended up settling on a subtitle but it's real as hell!!
"Build a new identity beyond the strong one”
All my life i have been called a warrior
And my internal response now is fuck that!!
I don't want to be known just for that!!...Im a woman ok ....there is way more to me than just fighting and bulldozering my way through life smashing through every damn wall I have hit...
I know it's meant to be a compliment, and I don't really voice it out loud... but it's I got my ass kicked along the way...so i don't identify myself like that anymore!! Thats not the only aspect of who I am...
It was a role that was forced upon me...I didn't take up the sword willingly!! Im happy as fuck to lay it down!!
I like how Dr Gabor Mate describes anger as a natural boundary defence and survival mechanism. It’s a good reminder that anger is a natural state for a reason but it is intended to arise, create action, and depart. You’ve really described why staying in the fight state and anger circuit isn’t meant to be a permanent or long term way of living. ❤️❤️
Whew. Cody done opened the door and pulled out a chair.
This right here? It’s not just information it’s liberation work. A mirror with no filter and no soft lighting. You read a piece like this and suddenly your whole timeline of “personality traits” starts looking a lot more like self-defense. Like armor you forgot you were still wearing.
That part about anger being the shield that worked? Baby, that hit me in a place no buzzword ever could.
And the way Cody broke it down trauma responses masquerading as temper, hypervigilance dressed up as preparedness, self-isolation rebranded as “I just keep my circle small.” Listen. This wasn’t a call-out. It was a call in. A way to name the fire without shame.
So if you saw yourself in this, even a little? You’re not broken. You’re wired for survival. But maybe, just maybe it’s safe to rewire.
Funny enough, I wrote last week about how I used to be stubborn just to read this today "It’s defensive inflexibility" and feel totally called out. Although my temper has improved with all the personal development, I didn't quite understand why I was always "so passionate", "so easy to respond", "so tough others didn't want to deal with". It's plenty of food for thought this one. Thanks for sharing, Cody.
This really hits home. It’s so true that sometimes anger isn’t just anger, it’s trauma speaking. Recognizing those signs makes all the difference. Grateful for the solutions shared here.
Thank you🙏🏼
Cody. Awesome piece.
I feel this in my goddamn bones, brother.
Thank you for this.
This is mostly me, but I rarely expressed my anger. I either stuffed it (it was still there) or directed it at myself (self-harmed).
I fear my anger.
I’m learning how to process my anger now.
Cody this one hit a home run with me man!! I have really been here!! I honestly wanted to pick a qoute from every section it's so hard to choose!! I ended up settling on a subtitle but it's real as hell!!
"Build a new identity beyond the strong one”
All my life i have been called a warrior
And my internal response now is fuck that!!
I don't want to be known just for that!!...Im a woman ok ....there is way more to me than just fighting and bulldozering my way through life smashing through every damn wall I have hit...
I know it's meant to be a compliment, and I don't really voice it out loud... but it's I got my ass kicked along the way...so i don't identify myself like that anymore!! Thats not the only aspect of who I am...
It was a role that was forced upon me...I didn't take up the sword willingly!! Im happy as fuck to lay it down!!
Great peice!! I loved every word!!
I like how Dr Gabor Mate describes anger as a natural boundary defence and survival mechanism. It’s a good reminder that anger is a natural state for a reason but it is intended to arise, create action, and depart. You’ve really described why staying in the fight state and anger circuit isn’t meant to be a permanent or long term way of living. ❤️❤️
Whew. Cody done opened the door and pulled out a chair.
This right here? It’s not just information it’s liberation work. A mirror with no filter and no soft lighting. You read a piece like this and suddenly your whole timeline of “personality traits” starts looking a lot more like self-defense. Like armor you forgot you were still wearing.
That part about anger being the shield that worked? Baby, that hit me in a place no buzzword ever could.
And the way Cody broke it down trauma responses masquerading as temper, hypervigilance dressed up as preparedness, self-isolation rebranded as “I just keep my circle small.” Listen. This wasn’t a call-out. It was a call in. A way to name the fire without shame.
So if you saw yourself in this, even a little? You’re not broken. You’re wired for survival. But maybe, just maybe it’s safe to rewire.
Thank you, Cody. This is real care.
—Ms. Maine
Girl, Why | Girl, Yes
Funny enough, I wrote last week about how I used to be stubborn just to read this today "It’s defensive inflexibility" and feel totally called out. Although my temper has improved with all the personal development, I didn't quite understand why I was always "so passionate", "so easy to respond", "so tough others didn't want to deal with". It's plenty of food for thought this one. Thanks for sharing, Cody.
https://nopharma.substack.com/p/this-is-for-the-fighter-no-one-sees?utm_source=substack&utm_content=feed%3Arecommended%3Acopy_link
Excellent Article! Thanks for sharing