The 7 Things Nobody Tells You About Betrayal (And How To Come Back Stronger)
I've been betrayed twice by people I trusted completely. Here's what I learned—and how to survive it when everything's on fire.Retry
The person who destroys you won’t look like a villain.
They’ll look like your therapist. Your boss. Your best friend. Your family member who “just wants to help.” The HR rep who promised to investigate. The company you gave everything to. The person you called at 3am when you couldn’t breathe.
They’ll look like someone you trusted completely.
And by the time you realize what’s happening, they’ve already weaponized everything you gave them.
I’ve been betrayed by people and systems I trusted with my life. My therapist of five years. Fidelity Investments, where I’d built my entire career. The management team I thought had my back. The HR department that said they’d protect me. The licensing boards that are supposed to stop people like my therapist.
Every betrayal looked different. Every one felt the same.
Every time, I documented everything. Against Fidelity, I fought back and won. Against my therapist, I’m still fighting.
If you’ve been betrayed by someone you trusted, or you’re watching it happen in real-time and can’t quite believe it, here’s what nobody tells you.
1. Betrayal Feels Like Your Brain Is Malfunctioning
You keep trying to make it make sense.
“Maybe I misunderstood.”
“Maybe I’m overreacting.”
“Maybe if I just explain better...”
“Maybe I’m the problem.”
Your brain does this because accepting the truth is too destabilizing.
If the person you trusted (your therapist, your best friend, your employer, your family member) is actually destroying you, then you have to accept you were completely wrong about them from the beginning.
That’s a hard fucking pill to swallow.
When my therapist started demanding money from me, I couldn’t process it. This was the woman who’d helped me get sober. Who knew my worst moments. Who I’d trusted for five years with my trauma, my addiction, every vulnerability I had.
She used all of it.
She threatened to expose confidential information from our therapy sessions to FINRA and my employer if I didn’t pay. She fabricated threats from people in my life. She created constant chaos and fear.
And my brain kept trying to rationalize it: “She’s protecting me. She wouldn’t hurt me. I must be misunderstanding.”
“Betrayal makes you question your own perception of reality. Because if you’re right, if the person you trusted is actually destroying you, then you have to accept that you were completely wrong about them.”
Your brain will do backflips to avoid that conclusion.
Same thing happened when Fidelity fired me. I’d reported workplace abuse. They responded by terminating me and putting false marks on my industry record.
And I kept thinking: “But I followed protocol. I did everything right. They wouldn’t just retaliate like that. This is a huge company with policies.”
Yes, they would. And they did.
You’ll do this too. You’ll try to make it make sense. You’ll give them the benefit of the doubt long after they’ve shown you exactly who they are.
That’s not weakness. That’s your brain trying to protect you from a truth that changes everything.
2. The Betrayer Will Use Your Own Words Against You
Here’s what makes betrayal by someone close so devastating:
They spent months or years learning exactly how to control you.
Your therapist knows your triggers. Your best friend knows your insecurities. Your employer knows your financial situation. Your family member knows your shame. Your HR department knows what you disclosed in “confidential” meetings.
And when they turn on you, they use all of it.
My therapist spent five years learning my vulnerabilities. She knew I had PTSD. She knew my fear of abandonment. She knew every mistake I’d made that I was ashamed of. She knew exactly what to say to make me doubt myself.
When Fidelity terminated me, she saw an opportunity. I was devastated, isolated, financially desperate. She positioned herself as my only support, then extorted $126,000 from me over the next year.
She’d say: “Only I can help you. You’ll fall apart without me. Everyone else will abandon you. I’m the only one who understands what you’re going through.”
She invoked my addiction history. My past mistakes. Things I’d told her in therapy, in confidence, believing they were protected.
“Betrayers don’t just hurt you. They use your own story to make you complicit in your destruction.”
Fidelity Investments did the same thing. They knew I’d reported abuse. They knew I was struggling. They knew my financial situation. So they fired me, claimed it was “performance issues,” and put marks on my record that made it nearly impossible to get hired elsewhere.
They weaponized my honesty against me.
Maybe your betrayer is doing this too. Using the things you told them in confidence. The vulnerabilities you shared. The mistakes you admitted to. The fears you confessed.
That’s how you know it’s real betrayal. They’re not just hurting you. They’re using your own words as the weapon.
3. They’ll Make You Believe You’re Crazy
This is the gaslighting phase.
When you start pushing back, they make YOU the problem.
“You’re overreacting.”
“This is standard procedure.”
“You’re not thinking clearly.”
“You’re being too sensitive.”
“You’re imagining things.”
“Everyone else is fine with this. Why aren’t you?”
After Fidelity fired me, I pushed back on the false marks they put on my U-5 (my industry record). They acted like I was being unreasonable.
“We’re just documenting what happened.”
“This is how we do things.”
My therapist did the same thing. When I started questioning the money she was demanding, she’d say:
“Your PTSD is making you paranoid.”
“I’m the only one who understands you.”
“You’re not seeing this clearly.”
“I’ve never lied to you. Why would I start now?”
Betrayers gaslight you because if they can make you doubt yourself, you won’t fight back.
HR departments do this. Management teams do this. Family members do this. Friends do this. Licensing boards do this.
They make you feel crazy for noticing what they’re doing.
And here’s the mindfuck: You start to wonder if maybe they’re right. Maybe you ARE overreacting. Maybe you ARE too sensitive. Maybe you ARE the problem.
You’re not.
If your gut is screaming that something’s wrong, something’s wrong.
4. Documentation Is Your Only Weapon
I won my case against Fidelity because I documented everything.
My case against my therapist is still ongoing, but I have a chance because I documented everything.
Not because I’m smart. Because I’m paranoid. And that paranoia saved me.
Against my therapist:
Bank statements showing $126,000 in transfers
Contracts she forced me to sign under duress
Text messages with explicit threats
A private investigator’s report
Emails where she confessed in writing
Against Fidelity:
Emails showing I’d reported workplace abuse
Records proving they retaliated by terminating me
Evidence the U-5 marks were false
Documentation of the entire timeline
“Without documentation, both would’ve destroyed me and walked away clean. If you’re being betrayed, start documenting NOW. Dates. Times. Screenshots. Bank records. Everything.”
You think you’ll remember. You won’t.
You think “they wouldn’t lie about something that specific.” They will.
You think “surely someone will believe me.” Not without proof.
Start documenting now:
Screenshot everything
Save every email, text, voicemail
Write down dates, times, what was said
Keep bank records if money’s involved
Get a lawyer early (I waited too long)
Tell someone outside the situation what’s happening
Your memory isn’t evidence. Your word isn’t evidence. Documentation is evidence.
5. Most People Won’t Believe You
When I told people my therapist was extorting me, some didn’t believe it.
“But she’s a licensed therapist. Why would she risk her career?”
“Are you sure you’re not misinterpreting this?”
“Maybe you’re just going through a rough time.”
“Therapists don’t do that.”
When I told people Fidelity retaliated against me for reporting abuse, same response.
“They’re a huge company. They wouldn’t do that.”
“Maybe there’s more to the story.”
“Big companies have to follow rules.”
Betrayal by authority figures is hard to believe because we’re conditioned to trust systems and credentials.
Therapists aren’t supposed to exploit patients. Corporations aren’t supposed to retaliate against whistleblowers. Best friends aren’t supposed to use your secrets against you. Family isn’t supposed to hurt you.
But they do.
And when you speak up, people will struggle to accept it because if it happened to you, it could happen to them. And that’s scary.
So they’d rather believe you’re mistaken. Exaggerating. Being dramatic. Misunderstanding.
That’s why documentation matters so much.
People won’t believe your story. They’ll believe your receipts.
6. The Betrayer Will Keep Betraying You Until You Stop Them
My therapist didn’t stop after the first $10,000. Or the second. Or the tenth.
She kept escalating. More demands. More threats. More control.
She made me sign contracts mandating I pay her over $100,000. She required me to notify her before accepting any new job. She tried to set up a trust fund for her son in my name. She monitored who I could talk to.
She didn’t stop because I paid. She escalated because I paid.
Because paying proved it worked.
“Betrayers don’t have remorse. They have appetite. The only thing that stops them is consequences.”
This is true whether it’s a therapist, an employer, a friend, or a family member.
They won’t stop because you complied. They won’t stop because you were nice. They won’t stop because you gave them what they wanted.
They’ll stop when there are consequences.
For me, that meant:
Hiring a private investigator
Filing a complaint with LARA (Michigan’s licensing board)
Suing my therapist, full trial, no settlement
Suing Fidelity and forcing them to remove every false mark from my record
I didn’t want to do any of that. I wanted them to just stop. To realize what they were doing. To be reasonable.
They weren’t going to stop. I had to stop them.
Against Fidelity, it worked. They removed the marks.
Against my therapist, the fight continues. She’s still practicing. I’m coming for her license.
If you’re being betrayed, understand this: They’re not going to wake up one day and realize what they’re doing is wrong. You have to make it stop.
7. Coming Back Stronger Isn’t About Healing First—It’s About Refusing To Break
Everyone said: “Focus on healing. Take time. Don’t push yourself. You need to process this.”
Fuck that.
I didn’t have time. I had bills. I had a career to rebuild. I had lawsuits to file. I had to keep showing up.
I didn’t come back stronger because I healed first. I came back stronger because I refused to let them win.
After Fidelity terminated me:
I sued them
I forced them to remove every false mark from my U-5
I got hired as a Regional VP of Sales in a completely new industry
I’m doing $21M in production this year (175% of my goal)
After my therapist extorted $126,000 from me:
I hired a private investigator
I filed a complaint with LARA
I’m suing her, full trial, no settlement
I got sober again (6 years now) without her
I’m writing about it so other people recognize the patterns
“You don’t need to be healed to fight back. You just need to refuse to stay down.”
You can rebuild while broken. You can perform while your nervous system is screaming. You can win while everything’s on fire.
I’m not saying don’t heal. I’m saying don’t wait for healing to start fighting.
Because they’re not waiting. They’re already moving on. Already covering their tracks. Already telling people their version of the story.
Start building now. Start documenting now. Start fighting back now.
Healing can happen alongside it. It doesn’t have to happen first.
How To Survive Betrayal When Everything’s On Fire
Document everything. Dates, times, screenshots, bank records, emails, contracts, text messages, voicemails. If you’re being betrayed, start now. Your memory isn’t evidence.
Stop trying to make it make sense. Your brain wants to rationalize it. Don’t. If someone is hurting you systematically, it doesn’t matter why. What matters is stopping it.
Trust your gut over their credentials. Therapists betray patients. Employers betray employees. Friends betray friends. Family betrays family. Credentials don’t prevent betrayal. Your instincts are valid.
Get external validation. Talk to people outside the situation. A lawyer. An investigator. A therapist who isn’t connected to them. Someone who can see clearly what you can’t.
Don’t negotiate with betrayers. They don’t have empathy. They have appetite. The only thing that stops them is consequences, not your compliance.
Build while you’re broken. You don’t have to heal first. You can fight, rebuild, and perform while your nervous system is screaming. I’m proof.
Use it. Turn your survival into intelligence. Help other people recognize the patterns. Document what you’re learning. Make sure it wasn’t for nothing.
The Bottom Line
Here’s what they don’t tell you about betrayal: The worst part isn’t that they hurt you. The worst part is that they knew exactly how much it would hurt, and they did it anyway.
Your therapist knew what your trauma triggers were. They’d spent years learning them. That’s why they used them. Your employer knew what losing your career would do to you. That’s why they threatened it. Your best friend knew what secrets would destroy you. That’s why they told them.
They didn’t betray you despite knowing you. They betrayed you because they knew you. The person who destroys you always uses the map you gave them. Every vulnerability you shared. Every fear you confessed. Every mistake you admitted to. Every moment you trusted them with the truth about who you really are. They took all of it, the entire blueprint of how to hurt you most effectively, and they used it. Systematically. Deliberately. With precision.
And here’s the part that will keep you up at night: They’re still out there. My therapist is still practicing. Still taking patients. Still learning their vulnerabilities. Fidelity is still operating. Still terminating people who report abuse. The licensing boards are still failing to protect people. The systems are still working exactly as designed. The next person won’t see it coming either.
The betrayal doesn’t just hurt you in the present. It reaches backward through time and poisons everything that came before it. That therapy session where you finally opened up about your trauma? She was collecting ammunition. That performance review where you were honest about your struggles? They were building a case. Every moment you thought you were safe was a lie you didn’t know you were living.
But here’s what I know: They don’t get to write the ending. They got to hurt you. They got to use everything you gave them against you. They got to make you question everything. But they don’t get to decide what you become after. That’s yours.
I’m sitting here doing $21M in production this year with ADHD and C-PTSD. I’m six years sober without the therapist who said I’d fall apart without her. I’m suing the woman who extorted $126,000 from me with documentation so detailed she confessed in writing. I forced Fidelity to remove every lie they put on my record.
The betrayal is theirs. The survival is yours. And if you choose to turn that survival into something that helps other people recognize the patterns before it’s too late? That’s not healing. That’s revenge. The kind where you win by refusing to let them break you.
— Cody Taymore
Kill The Silence
If you want the tactical frameworks I used to survive and rebuild after betrayal, plus ongoing updates from someone still in the fight, that’s what paid subscribers get.
I’m suing my therapist. Full trial, no settlement. I’m rebuilding my career at $21M/year with ADHD and C-PTSD. I’m documenting all of it.
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In my experience, the betrayal also came with gaslighting.
Thanks, Cody. One thing that you said in a previous post was that Narcissists have a different operating system. I worked for one many years ago and I remember writing out a conversation I’d had and then writing out a rebuttal to each point. It helped me see that I was being gaslit.
Karma caught up with her fortunately but that doesn’t always happen.