As a lifelong apologizer, I used to say sorry just for existing. Now I laugh when people apologize to me because I see how unnecessary it is.
Plus, isn’t it wild how the people who should apologize the ones who really hurt you almost never do? For years, I thought people-pleasing made me strong. Helpful. Kind. But it was survival. It started young. I learned to smooth everything over, even before I had a voice of my own.
I gave everyone else love. I forgot to give it to myself. Thank you, Cody, for naming it and giving us tools to finally break the cycle. I wanna be like you when I grow up.
Hustle and HeelCody… you’re leading people out of their unseen cages with this one. That line about being trapped in “nervous system stuck in fawn mode”? Wow, I had to stop and take a breath. You’ve articulated what so many of us have been silently shouldering. This guide isn’t just useful—it’s downright sacred. It’s the kind of thing you stash in your bag like a mini therapist for those moments when you’re trying to reconstruct your self-worth. Thank you for creating something that doesn’t berate us but rather tenderly guides us back to our true selves. I downloaded it. And, oh, I’m sharing it. Because, as you so astutely put it, letting people down isn’t the end of the world. It’s essential.
Given my background, how I didn't wind up being a people pleaser is beyond comprehension. However, I admit that whenever I piss someone off, it feels as if a part my very existence is threatened.
Recommended for people pleasers: "The Let Them Theory," by Mel Robbins. It's a simple (and, admittedly simplistic) book that could be very helpful.
You are just the coolest guy! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face with this! It used to crush me when people were angry or unhappy with me. I am growing more comfortable with it. I am so glad you learned this at a younger age!
I made a mess trying to download. But OMG, how many kids do you know that goes to the length of cutting out the letters to spell out happy anniversary to purchase a cake from my aunt that says the same get the ice cream the nuts and the gifts and throw a surprise anniversary party for your parents many years in a row?
THE PEOPLE PLEASING CYCLE (from page 2 of your book)
Trigger (someone needs something)
→ Anxiety (nervous system activates) → People Pleasing (you abandon yourself)
→ Temporary Relief
→ Resentment
→ Guilt
→ More People Pleasing
→ Repeat
Apt! I like to read about these patterns to remind myself that im not imagining things and to stay strong in maintaining boundaries that allow me to stay grounded in my body.
Thank you for this article, and for the free book.
As a lifelong apologizer, I used to say sorry just for existing. Now I laugh when people apologize to me because I see how unnecessary it is.
Plus, isn’t it wild how the people who should apologize the ones who really hurt you almost never do? For years, I thought people-pleasing made me strong. Helpful. Kind. But it was survival. It started young. I learned to smooth everything over, even before I had a voice of my own.
I gave everyone else love. I forgot to give it to myself. Thank you, Cody, for naming it and giving us tools to finally break the cycle. I wanna be like you when I grow up.
Hustle and HeelCody… you’re leading people out of their unseen cages with this one. That line about being trapped in “nervous system stuck in fawn mode”? Wow, I had to stop and take a breath. You’ve articulated what so many of us have been silently shouldering. This guide isn’t just useful—it’s downright sacred. It’s the kind of thing you stash in your bag like a mini therapist for those moments when you’re trying to reconstruct your self-worth. Thank you for creating something that doesn’t berate us but rather tenderly guides us back to our true selves. I downloaded it. And, oh, I’m sharing it. Because, as you so astutely put it, letting people down isn’t the end of the world. It’s essential.
Given my background, how I didn't wind up being a people pleaser is beyond comprehension. However, I admit that whenever I piss someone off, it feels as if a part my very existence is threatened.
Recommended for people pleasers: "The Let Them Theory," by Mel Robbins. It's a simple (and, admittedly simplistic) book that could be very helpful.
You are just the coolest guy! Thanks for bringing a smile to my face with this! It used to crush me when people were angry or unhappy with me. I am growing more comfortable with it. I am so glad you learned this at a younger age!
I made a mess trying to download. But OMG, how many kids do you know that goes to the length of cutting out the letters to spell out happy anniversary to purchase a cake from my aunt that says the same get the ice cream the nuts and the gifts and throw a surprise anniversary party for your parents many years in a row?
THE PEOPLE PLEASING CYCLE (from page 2 of your book)
Trigger (someone needs something)
→ Anxiety (nervous system activates) → People Pleasing (you abandon yourself)
→ Temporary Relief
→ Resentment
→ Guilt
→ More People Pleasing
→ Repeat
Apt! I like to read about these patterns to remind myself that im not imagining things and to stay strong in maintaining boundaries that allow me to stay grounded in my body.
Thank you for this article, and for the free book.