That part. That’s what happened to me when I began my spiritual/healing journey. I thought I had to be softer. Calmer. Turned out my fire imploded from the inside. And the ending. Is exactly how I’m feeling now. Breaking free. Letting the fire destroy everything around me to rebuild everything. Beautifully put Cody. I’m saving this one. I’ll read it in times when I don’t remember the path. Thank you 🙏🏼
Thanks for this vulnerable piece, Cody. I appreciate the energy of survival. I feel a strong longing to be right. To be seen. To be heard. I feel the hurt underneath the words.
Thank you for having the courage to speak your truth and share your experience out loud 🙏🏻
Thank you for writing. This I think healing also is accepting that there is an unveiling of a new part of you… Because whatever it is that put you in the cocoon… For me it was grief because of my husbands suicide… At some point we gotta get out of the cocoon, but we’re not gonna be that same person ever again.
this really spoke to me, as I feel particularly touchy about the use of the word soft. I feel like i've started to internalise it - feeling guilty about not being soft enough, however I do see where it's important – it is important to be soft to ourselves – treat ourselves gently. Now I need to not be afraid of that original fire within me...
As a counselor I’ve often seen healing be initially painful because of the reinterpretation of memories and relationships with a new set of eyes. Knowing your worth and power means confronting your past in a new way. After that though, as you say, one becomes dangerous and strong. Love this Cody. Nice work.
Benjamin, I appreciate you putting this into words.
You’re right. Healing doesn't start with feeling better. It starts by seeing everything clearly for the first time, and that will tear you apart before it ever builds you back up.
It’s a full identity shift when you realize you were never the problem.
And like you said, once you make it through that fire, you are not the same. You are sharper. Stronger. Harder to break.
Thank you for being someone who actually understands what that process really looks like.
Now I really get certain health care system interactions in recent months. The dangerous part. Because I'm meticulous. I ask questions. I do my research. And so when I'm met with BS, I don't like that and make it known. Generally as respectfully as possible, but with clarity. No BS. And those cultures and staff who somehow aren't on the up-and-up really don't like that.
So they throw it back on me. I'm being "disrespectful." They criticize me. I don't think they get much pushback, so they tend to freak out and get mean.
I really LOVE this Cody. I am a dangerous woman.
Thank you Jenny! Yes you are!
Me, too. :)
« They told you healing meant being softer.
More agreeable.
More "at peace."
What they meant was:
We hope you get quiet enough to stay manageable.
They didn’t want your healing.
They wanted your harmlessness. »
That part. That’s what happened to me when I began my spiritual/healing journey. I thought I had to be softer. Calmer. Turned out my fire imploded from the inside. And the ending. Is exactly how I’m feeling now. Breaking free. Letting the fire destroy everything around me to rebuild everything. Beautifully put Cody. I’m saving this one. I’ll read it in times when I don’t remember the path. Thank you 🙏🏼
💯💯💯
It's true, it really is Cody...
Cody… this piece felt like being handed back my own backbone.
So many of us have been seduced into thinking “healing” meant becoming palatable, more forgiving, more agreeable, more contained.
But you just reminded me:
I didn’t crawl through fire to come out murmuring.
I’m not healing into a quieter version of me.
I’m healing into someone unshakable.
Thank you for naming the power we were never meant to lose.
Love this post 🌻
Thanks for this vulnerable piece, Cody. I appreciate the energy of survival. I feel a strong longing to be right. To be seen. To be heard. I feel the hurt underneath the words.
Thank you for having the courage to speak your truth and share your experience out loud 🙏🏻
This is powerful Cody!
Read the latest one from me & let’s connect https://1minuteproductivity.substack.com/p/behavior-as-a-cost-function-a-gradient?r=3alkxa
Warriors embrace the fire that resides deep in their souls, and use it to become a beacon.
Thank you for writing. This I think healing also is accepting that there is an unveiling of a new part of you… Because whatever it is that put you in the cocoon… For me it was grief because of my husbands suicide… At some point we gotta get out of the cocoon, but we’re not gonna be that same person ever again.
this really spoke to me, as I feel particularly touchy about the use of the word soft. I feel like i've started to internalise it - feeling guilty about not being soft enough, however I do see where it's important – it is important to be soft to ourselves – treat ourselves gently. Now I need to not be afraid of that original fire within me...
This is beautiful!
Thank you Tori!!
As a counselor I’ve often seen healing be initially painful because of the reinterpretation of memories and relationships with a new set of eyes. Knowing your worth and power means confronting your past in a new way. After that though, as you say, one becomes dangerous and strong. Love this Cody. Nice work.
Benjamin, I appreciate you putting this into words.
You’re right. Healing doesn't start with feeling better. It starts by seeing everything clearly for the first time, and that will tear you apart before it ever builds you back up.
It’s a full identity shift when you realize you were never the problem.
And like you said, once you make it through that fire, you are not the same. You are sharper. Stronger. Harder to break.
Thank you for being someone who actually understands what that process really looks like.
Exactly! This is what physical therapy and mental health therapy have in common. There’s pain in the process but eventually leads to strength.
This is a great reminder.
Now I really get certain health care system interactions in recent months. The dangerous part. Because I'm meticulous. I ask questions. I do my research. And so when I'm met with BS, I don't like that and make it known. Generally as respectfully as possible, but with clarity. No BS. And those cultures and staff who somehow aren't on the up-and-up really don't like that.
So they throw it back on me. I'm being "disrespectful." They criticize me. I don't think they get much pushback, so they tend to freak out and get mean.
But now I know what's up. So I'm prepared.
With tears falling down my face thank you for this Cody your writing brought me closer to my power today.