Have you considered turning this experience into a novel? I ask because just when I thought my novel/memoir was about to wrap up something awful happened and now I have a new ending with some kick-ass deep recovery thanks to a malignant narcissist.
Here's the abridged version. I hope you don't mind.
A man began saving me a seat in a packed AA meeting. When the time was right, he asked me out to dinner. It had been 21 years since I’d been on a date. I told him so and reminded him of my childhood trauma issues. This was not news to him. He was well aware, having studied me for months before saving the seat.
He acted like a gentleman, always holding doors and the like. He was polite and attentive, not at all pushy at first. I set a physical boundary. He pushed through it and I had a PTSD episode. The man mirrored my father, and a hidden memory rose to the surface as he groped me. I have enough recovery to be in an episode as a child and observing it as an adult. I demanded to be taken home.
The next day, I did my best to explain the flashback and begged him to not get physical with me until I was ready. That’s when the fancy date nights and all out romantic gestures began, followed by more groping and more PTSD flashbacks. I felt like I was the damaged one. He was the great guy putting up with my nonsense. With 32 years of sobriety and years of therapy under his belt, he was the healthy one. Assuring me, he had dealt with his childhood issues and his own battle with PTSD; he questioned my sanity.
“At 18 years clean and sober, shouldn’t you be doing better than this?” he asked.
It was such a head game and every date; he pushed further, explaining why it was all in my best interest. And I allowed it.
In the end, it all worked out in my favor, mental health wise. I got back my memories and the god-like aura that had hung over my mind concerning my father shattered. I looked at that man on the last day and said to myself, “What a small man, a weak and empty shell of a man.” My father was the same.
Wow. Thank you for sharing that — not just the experience, but the clarity you’ve earned through it. That last line hit hard: “What a small man, a weak and empty shell of a man.” That realization — seeing through the illusion — is one of the most liberating parts of trauma recovery. It doesn’t undo the damage, but it cuts the strings.
And yes, I’ve absolutely thought about turning my story into a novel or something hybrid like creative nonfiction. Because sometimes the only way to tell the truth is to let it breathe — outside of facts, timelines, and defenses. When you’re dealing with manipulation this layered, the emotional blueprint often says more than the biography ever could.
Your story deserves to be fully told, whether through memoir or fiction or some powerful blend of both. What you just wrote? It’s already a chapter. And it already hits.
I’m honored you shared it here. We need more voices like yours — sharp, unflinching, and done playing small.
Yes to, "done playing small. Thank you for subscribing. Chapter 28 entitled, "Monrovia" will hit your inbox tomorrow morning. It is an insider look at EMDR therapy. Chapter 16, "The Scapegoat" is the back-story.
That guy was the most amazing gift. He provided an intense immersion therapy that pulled my lost childhood memories to the surface where I could finally assimilate them. I don't think it was his intention, but God bless the wicked little dude!
The entire process took 70 pages to write. It is "The big Hollywood ending," I speak of at the end of each chapter. Honestly, I never could have imagined in a million years what was hiding in my subconscious mind. I think Carl Jung would find it an interesting and entertaining beach read. Ha, ha, ha!
I have to say that was an amazing comment you wrote. I subscribed!
I’m glad you came out of it all with a victory. Sounds like it could be a Netflix Documentary mini series. Dr Emily probably didn’t have her therapist who checked her. 🤪 I told my kids over and over… if there’s anyone who seems so nice, even if its a teacher or a coach etc telling u to leave mommy daddy, ur family ur friends,,, THAT IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. Ok!!!?? STAY AWAY FROM THEM! “Okay mommy. Can I sleep now?” 😂 Jk aside thanks for sharing your story.
This isn't the first story I have heard like this, especially in the SUDS field. There is a wide open door for things like this to develop. Most people wouldn't believe it for various reasons.
My field seems to draw them, or draw them out if they aren't already. There is a reason mens mental health specifically is a shit show and a big part of what goes on in education and empowerment movements that align with these fields has opened the door to this kind of predatory activity.
I so wish I could ❤️ this article 1000 times!! Cody you are such a gift and are changing lives and bringing hope to so many more souls than you could ever know!
There are simply no adequate words for this. It speaks deeply to me on many levels. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself ; the world needs to know about the huge crevices in the mental health system.
💔 Thank you for being so strong and for transforming your trauma into a loud voice the world should hear. I felt your words strengthen me in my own journey of knowing that one voice can destroy or restore, and it’s our duty to follow the path of being an essential part of rebuilding a safer, new world.
Holy moly, Cody. As another licensed therapist who managed to get through this article without throwing my computer across the room, I'm appalled at the treatment you received by "Doctor" Emily (who I hope no longer holds this esteemed title).
I have encountered a few unethical therapists over the 20 years in my career although nothing will top this situation you lived through. I'm not doubting what you went through, I'm just checking for clarification (I must have missed it): what was the reason for making payments to her again?
Thank you for sharing an incredibly raw and real experience - it really left an impact on me, friend.
English here, and I'm not aware of situations here developing to an extreme extent, presumably because usually therapy is limited generally to a few months.
However I was in two toxic situations. I've been critical of myself for this, but thanks to Cody and all the people commenting here, I can begin to see that I actually did well. The toxicity was the problem, not me!
I've never had a good therapist, and I had one that pushed me further into the severe burnout that I'm still digging myself out of -- but I've never had one this bad! Wow. I'm so sorry you went through that, but I admire your resilience, courage and the power in your voice.
These types plunder and destroy lives for self enrichment. One thing we must remember, their strategy is gaining your complicity, seeking your dependence on them and lying convincingly. If you don’t believe Evil exists, you’re setting yourself up to become a victim.
Amazing story – you got hit from all sides at the same time. I had something similar happen to me between being surrounded by a group of manipulative administrators at my job and at the same time being gaslit by a really strategic supermodel. One of the books that really helped me the most was this book/audiobook:
Cody, I don’t have words sharp enough for what you’ve survived. Just amazed that you’re still here, and writing like this. The line about checking your phone for punishment struck me. I know that feeling, but not on this scale. What was done to you was monstrous, calculated, and it should never have been possible. It's just evil. Thank you for surviving this, writing this, and fighting to bring the truth out.
Have you considered turning this experience into a novel? I ask because just when I thought my novel/memoir was about to wrap up something awful happened and now I have a new ending with some kick-ass deep recovery thanks to a malignant narcissist.
Here's the abridged version. I hope you don't mind.
A man began saving me a seat in a packed AA meeting. When the time was right, he asked me out to dinner. It had been 21 years since I’d been on a date. I told him so and reminded him of my childhood trauma issues. This was not news to him. He was well aware, having studied me for months before saving the seat.
He acted like a gentleman, always holding doors and the like. He was polite and attentive, not at all pushy at first. I set a physical boundary. He pushed through it and I had a PTSD episode. The man mirrored my father, and a hidden memory rose to the surface as he groped me. I have enough recovery to be in an episode as a child and observing it as an adult. I demanded to be taken home.
The next day, I did my best to explain the flashback and begged him to not get physical with me until I was ready. That’s when the fancy date nights and all out romantic gestures began, followed by more groping and more PTSD flashbacks. I felt like I was the damaged one. He was the great guy putting up with my nonsense. With 32 years of sobriety and years of therapy under his belt, he was the healthy one. Assuring me, he had dealt with his childhood issues and his own battle with PTSD; he questioned my sanity.
“At 18 years clean and sober, shouldn’t you be doing better than this?” he asked.
It was such a head game and every date; he pushed further, explaining why it was all in my best interest. And I allowed it.
In the end, it all worked out in my favor, mental health wise. I got back my memories and the god-like aura that had hung over my mind concerning my father shattered. I looked at that man on the last day and said to myself, “What a small man, a weak and empty shell of a man.” My father was the same.
Wow. Thank you for sharing that — not just the experience, but the clarity you’ve earned through it. That last line hit hard: “What a small man, a weak and empty shell of a man.” That realization — seeing through the illusion — is one of the most liberating parts of trauma recovery. It doesn’t undo the damage, but it cuts the strings.
And yes, I’ve absolutely thought about turning my story into a novel or something hybrid like creative nonfiction. Because sometimes the only way to tell the truth is to let it breathe — outside of facts, timelines, and defenses. When you’re dealing with manipulation this layered, the emotional blueprint often says more than the biography ever could.
Your story deserves to be fully told, whether through memoir or fiction or some powerful blend of both. What you just wrote? It’s already a chapter. And it already hits.
I’m honored you shared it here. We need more voices like yours — sharp, unflinching, and done playing small.
Yes to, "done playing small. Thank you for subscribing. Chapter 28 entitled, "Monrovia" will hit your inbox tomorrow morning. It is an insider look at EMDR therapy. Chapter 16, "The Scapegoat" is the back-story.
That guy was the most amazing gift. He provided an intense immersion therapy that pulled my lost childhood memories to the surface where I could finally assimilate them. I don't think it was his intention, but God bless the wicked little dude!
The entire process took 70 pages to write. It is "The big Hollywood ending," I speak of at the end of each chapter. Honestly, I never could have imagined in a million years what was hiding in my subconscious mind. I think Carl Jung would find it an interesting and entertaining beach read. Ha, ha, ha!
I have to say that was an amazing comment you wrote. I subscribed!
I’m glad you came out of it all with a victory. Sounds like it could be a Netflix Documentary mini series. Dr Emily probably didn’t have her therapist who checked her. 🤪 I told my kids over and over… if there’s anyone who seems so nice, even if its a teacher or a coach etc telling u to leave mommy daddy, ur family ur friends,,, THAT IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. Ok!!!?? STAY AWAY FROM THEM! “Okay mommy. Can I sleep now?” 😂 Jk aside thanks for sharing your story.
It sounds like a cross between Baby Reindeer and a made for TV movie and a character of mine in my latest book. Yikes
Therpists that cross the line even subtlety can mess a client up. It's scary who can be behind the therapy chair and who we trust
This isn't the first story I have heard like this, especially in the SUDS field. There is a wide open door for things like this to develop. Most people wouldn't believe it for various reasons.
Yeah if you met her you’d think all she does in her spare time is bake cookies and knit sweaters for the homeless. Yet she’s a predator.
You left out the most important part, a predator while convincing you she’s the victim.
My field seems to draw them, or draw them out if they aren't already. There is a reason mens mental health specifically is a shit show and a big part of what goes on in education and empowerment movements that align with these fields has opened the door to this kind of predatory activity.
I so wish I could ❤️ this article 1000 times!! Cody you are such a gift and are changing lives and bringing hope to so many more souls than you could ever know!
Thank you Kylee
There are simply no adequate words for this. It speaks deeply to me on many levels. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself ; the world needs to know about the huge crevices in the mental health system.
💔 Thank you for being so strong and for transforming your trauma into a loud voice the world should hear. I felt your words strengthen me in my own journey of knowing that one voice can destroy or restore, and it’s our duty to follow the path of being an essential part of rebuilding a safer, new world.
Holy moly, Cody. As another licensed therapist who managed to get through this article without throwing my computer across the room, I'm appalled at the treatment you received by "Doctor" Emily (who I hope no longer holds this esteemed title).
I have encountered a few unethical therapists over the 20 years in my career although nothing will top this situation you lived through. I'm not doubting what you went through, I'm just checking for clarification (I must have missed it): what was the reason for making payments to her again?
Thank you for sharing an incredibly raw and real experience - it really left an impact on me, friend.
English here, and I'm not aware of situations here developing to an extreme extent, presumably because usually therapy is limited generally to a few months.
However I was in two toxic situations. I've been critical of myself for this, but thanks to Cody and all the people commenting here, I can begin to see that I actually did well. The toxicity was the problem, not me!
Wow what the fuck!! 🤯 Her contracts were insane. I have no words.
I've never had a good therapist, and I had one that pushed me further into the severe burnout that I'm still digging myself out of -- but I've never had one this bad! Wow. I'm so sorry you went through that, but I admire your resilience, courage and the power in your voice.
I have deep sorrow and horror reading this. 💔
And yet, I feel some relief you came here to tell your story in your own words.
I wish more clients / students / coachees did this because it's so prevalent and people need to know the signs of predatory practices AND SPEAK UP.
This means so much. Thank you.
Keep it simple
Get a sponsor
The only requirement for membership
Is the desire to stop drinking
This is an anonymous program
There are no dues or fees
These types plunder and destroy lives for self enrichment. One thing we must remember, their strategy is gaining your complicity, seeking your dependence on them and lying convincingly. If you don’t believe Evil exists, you’re setting yourself up to become a victim.
Amazing story – you got hit from all sides at the same time. I had something similar happen to me between being surrounded by a group of manipulative administrators at my job and at the same time being gaslit by a really strategic supermodel. One of the books that really helped me the most was this book/audiobook:
In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by Dr. George K. Simon (Ph.D. Clinical Psychology from Texas Tech University) https://healthythinking.substack.com/p/quickly-understanding-and-dealing
Cody, I don’t have words sharp enough for what you’ve survived. Just amazed that you’re still here, and writing like this. The line about checking your phone for punishment struck me. I know that feeling, but not on this scale. What was done to you was monstrous, calculated, and it should never have been possible. It's just evil. Thank you for surviving this, writing this, and fighting to bring the truth out.
Thank you for speaking up. That takes courage.
Too many don’t realize—sometimes the ones we turn to for healing are the ones who harm.
And when a so-called “trusted” therapist manipulates/abuses, it’s not just unethical. It’s soul-wounding.
You’re not alone for naming it. You’re powerful for surviving it.