Your page has been a lifesaver! It’s so easy to feel like you’re the only one dealing with stuff like this—the narcissist definitely tries to isolate you and make you think you’re crazy.
My crazy stalker ex-boyfriend kept sending them for five years after we broke up. I think the only thing that stopped them was the lockdowns.
I broke up with him in private the first time. But flying monkeys kept telling me I hadn’t done a formal breakup. So I broke up with him again in public a a party.
I offered to break up again with another group of people watching and listening, but he ran away from that offer.
There was one woman, a mutual acquaintance, who he had always bad mouthed behind her back, who took me aside, to check to see if I was being held prisoner by my parents, because that was the lie he told her.
I kept my temper, and said ‘I drove here by myself in my own car, what do you think?’ Then I asked if she would give me some advice about what to do with my ex. She told me she didn’t want to hear about it. I was trying to get an older woman’s advice on what to do about him staking out my house and tailing me in his car whenever he wasn’t at work. I really have never forgiven her for that.
And the answer I now know, is to call the cops every time so you have a record, it may not be illegal, but it’s great for evidence for why you need a restraining order.
My heart goes out to anyone who's ever had to go through this kind of hell on Earth. (I've been lucky in this arena.)
Cody, the horror you went through reminds me of a book I read about 40 years ago: "People of the Lie," an examination of human evil. I occasionally wonder if folks who deliberately put others through unspeakable levels of trauma are simply evil ... or if tossing it off as "evil" is really just simplistic. In any event, if I ever run into Flying Monkeys, this essay is a great primer on how to deal with them.
By the way, in another comment (about your essay examining the severe limits of mere insight), I referred to your Substack page as "End the Silence." My bad: It's "Kill the Silence." No biggie. Just makin' it right...
Good timing!! I thought about posting about flying monkeys because I had a run in with one. They sent me a nasty text on behalf of my abuser. At first I wanted to do anything and everything, but so far I have had more peace in doing nothing. Your post confirms I’m on the right track. Thank you!! 🙏
Brilliant! I am definitely going to take the actions you discuss because the flying monkeys have been a part of my life for too long! Thank you a million times for this article.
What a brilliant message and helpful tips, thank you for sharing! It’s quite surprising how much I can relate to what you said. I’ll definitely keep using these tips to eliminate all the “flying monkeys” from my life. Life’s too short to be surrounded by that kind of energy.
This was an awesome article!! Well written super informative and I learned a new tool for myself which I really really appreciate!! The broken record!!! That is a game changer for me THANK YOU!! 💓
This is an incredible read. I think I have experienced all 7 types. Question- do you think the info collector knows what they are being tasked with/ what they are doing in your experience?
Your page has been a lifesaver! It’s so easy to feel like you’re the only one dealing with stuff like this—the narcissist definitely tries to isolate you and make you think you’re crazy.
My crazy stalker ex-boyfriend kept sending them for five years after we broke up. I think the only thing that stopped them was the lockdowns.
I broke up with him in private the first time. But flying monkeys kept telling me I hadn’t done a formal breakup. So I broke up with him again in public a a party.
I offered to break up again with another group of people watching and listening, but he ran away from that offer.
There was one woman, a mutual acquaintance, who he had always bad mouthed behind her back, who took me aside, to check to see if I was being held prisoner by my parents, because that was the lie he told her.
I kept my temper, and said ‘I drove here by myself in my own car, what do you think?’ Then I asked if she would give me some advice about what to do with my ex. She told me she didn’t want to hear about it. I was trying to get an older woman’s advice on what to do about him staking out my house and tailing me in his car whenever he wasn’t at work. I really have never forgiven her for that.
And the answer I now know, is to call the cops every time so you have a record, it may not be illegal, but it’s great for evidence for why you need a restraining order.
My heart goes out to anyone who's ever had to go through this kind of hell on Earth. (I've been lucky in this arena.)
Cody, the horror you went through reminds me of a book I read about 40 years ago: "People of the Lie," an examination of human evil. I occasionally wonder if folks who deliberately put others through unspeakable levels of trauma are simply evil ... or if tossing it off as "evil" is really just simplistic. In any event, if I ever run into Flying Monkeys, this essay is a great primer on how to deal with them.
By the way, in another comment (about your essay examining the severe limits of mere insight), I referred to your Substack page as "End the Silence." My bad: It's "Kill the Silence." No biggie. Just makin' it right...
Good timing!! I thought about posting about flying monkeys because I had a run in with one. They sent me a nasty text on behalf of my abuser. At first I wanted to do anything and everything, but so far I have had more peace in doing nothing. Your post confirms I’m on the right track. Thank you!! 🙏
Good timing indeed!!
Bottom line: BE STRONG.
Thank you ❤️❤️
Excellent, Cody, from one who knows what this hell is like. Keep up your great work! And stop by Wildlands and say hello.
Brilliant! I am definitely going to take the actions you discuss because the flying monkeys have been a part of my life for too long! Thank you a million times for this article.
What a brilliant message and helpful tips, thank you for sharing! It’s quite surprising how much I can relate to what you said. I’ll definitely keep using these tips to eliminate all the “flying monkeys” from my life. Life’s too short to be surrounded by that kind of energy.
This was an awesome article!! Well written super informative and I learned a new tool for myself which I really really appreciate!! The broken record!!! That is a game changer for me THANK YOU!! 💓
Have dealt with so much of this!!!😭
This is an incredible read. I think I have experienced all 7 types. Question- do you think the info collector knows what they are being tasked with/ what they are doing in your experience?