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Yvonne Cook's avatar

This is excellent! The unlearning, oh my God it is hard. I think I had realized how much bullshit it all was before, but the turning point for me, was when I went to my church one morning and there was a sign on the door with a dress code FOR WOMEN! I was furious. We only accepted “properly” dressed women in a church? What the hell?

I had been “friends” with these people for over 20 years. When I said something I was told I was causing dissension in the church and was in danger of losing my many blessings from God. When I didn’t agree I no longer had any friends at least there. That isn’t friendship. Nor is it Christ like. Anyways the beginning of a long, painful journey of mine.

By the way, one of my favorite posts of yours.

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Jul 31
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Yvonne Cook's avatar

The Bible can be used to say whatever they want. It has been used to control people for too long. I am no longer participating in their religious bullshit.

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Fr. Scott Bailey, C.Ss.R.'s avatar

“Every human being deserves to take up space on this planet. Period. Full stop. No exceptions.“

💯% This is powerful truth. I can disagree with you. I can dislike your views. I can dislike your behavior. I can dislike you. But none of that means I get to other you or less you or harm you. I only get to will your good, in other words, love you.

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Mart Wijn / The original self's avatar

I had some insights a few years ago and this came up as well. We are conditioned and programmed in our youth and we carry that with us for the rest of our life´s, but we are not aware. The insight showed me that the influence from the family line goes back many generations and we actually all had to cope with the same influence from the previous one. Because I realized that nothing was mine even my own decisions because they were influenced. I could let go of it all at once, released of my baggage. That is direction authenticity but also consciousness. Free from the past.

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Angela Teiken Heitzman's avatar

Well written right on track! We all have someone else’s poison in our heads and may not even realize where it came from. But the key as you know is in knowing what was previously unknown, knowing people that were previously unknown. Once we know something and someone the fear goes away. Thanks for your writing and your desire to bring people together.

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Chefanie's avatar

I, too, was programmed — taught what was “acceptable” in another person before I even knew who I was.

It took years of unlearning to realize I wasn’t broken — I was conditioned.

And now, I see it: we are all connected.

To each other.

To the wild.

To the breath between words.

To everything.

Unlearning wasn’t a betrayal.

It was a return.

To myself.

To source.

To truth.

Thank you for holding space for that journey — for naming what so many of us are just beginning to remember.

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Vivienne Helen's avatar

Feels like this came at just the right time for me. Thank you.

13 years of intense reprogramming.

I feel exhausted! Also at the point of new beginnings.

I crawled out of the pit and feel ready to be...ME!

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Mira Vale's avatar

As I am processing the idea of leaving an abusive spouse, I have deconstructed the “poison” I grew up- a conservative, Christian upbringing, almost more terrifying than leaving my marriage is dismantling the lies I believed, realizing the worldview I hold now it in stark contrast to what I held 10 years ago. Leaving my marriage is more than leaving a relationship, it’s leaving an identity I once held, behind. It’s leaving a toxic, unhealthy view of human worth. Thank you for reminding me the path I am choosing may be hard, but is valid and right.

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nickanello's avatar

A manifesto sized "Yes"! 7 years in therapy, unlearning and loving every difficult moment of it. That's how long I've been a part of this. So glad to hear the words appreciation, difference, fierce love and radical acceptance all in the same breath, in a piece written on the cornerstone of (wake up and let's go) inclusion.

Crazy that this might sound revolutionary to some...but I'd rather be crazy then what I used to be.

Well said. Massive aggressive. Truly killin' it.

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Nina Simperi's avatar

Indeed! When we understand that we all have been influenced by our parents, school and the culture we grew up in, and really see through the deception, we understand that everyone else has been influenced as well, opening the doors to accepting 'the other'. Acceptance and curiosity instead of division.

And then the (challenging and) fun bit begins: figuring out who YOU are and what your OWN values are.

Such a great, well written post, sharing it with my loved-ones with link to your post & restacking - thank you!!!

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You Matter's avatar

This is great content and it is so great to see How We touch upon a lot og the same material: And these parental wounds (poison) from the past dressed up in different Colors, we need to become aware of them to heal. Your language cuts right through every pretending🤗

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Virginia Curtis's avatar

This is wonderful to read! You know, the bible carries a warning about picking and choosing which scriptures to follow. So much of our loving creator's concepts are weaponized to "other" and oust people that threaten the status quo.

I threw out organized religion years ago and adopted a Universal Love theory that God and the Universe are the same/interchangeable, and God is love. Period. So I use Christ's example of love and compassion to unlearn all those years of indoctriation and my world has been filled with loving people and incredible interactions with some of the most beautiful and kind people on the planet, making love a verb. Creating loving spaces and loving actions. Thank you for this. Love, Virg.

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Bruce Recovery + Spirituality's avatar

Well stated truth! I have been spreading the word for years. Let us all keep reminding the world that each of us is far more important than our ideas about them.

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Kristen Lena's avatar

Dude, this is seriously the best shit ever. And yes, I said DUDE!

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Rich Carr's avatar

To label is to limit

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Mary Reynolds's avatar

Wow. Just wow.

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The Sweaty Generalist's avatar

Curiosity is the antidote to judgment. Great post. Thank you.

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