Cody, let me explain something to you it’s called perspicacity. This post is about just that. It means sharp insight, the ability to cut through noise and see the truth.
For me, it’s iron sharpening iron. I live with a level of perception shaped by a world you don’t have to survive in.
There can be empathy, but if you aren’t Black if you don’t carry ancestors who were enslaved you can’t fully understand this reality.
You see the world from a vantage point built on privilege. Some people are waking up to that privilege, but most don’t give a damn.
I’ve always spoken with you because you actually want to understand. Even if we don’t talk every day, I knew that when I pushed back, you’d at least see why. Meanwhile, I argue daily with people who defend Kirk or minimize what his movement stood for and truthfully, Kirk isn’t even the worst of them.
As long as you stay open to learning, the world has a chance to shift. But understand this I’m actively fighting not just opinions, but systems.
I’ve been blackballed, discriminated against, and shut out by the biggest corporations.
I’ve won awards on the level of the Pulitzer, yet in this anti-Black, anti-DEI landscape, the white male gaze still dictates who gets to sit at the table.
Every day I fight for my right to be great and for the chance to stand alongside peers who are too often elevated simply because of their skin color.
That’s the reality I carry into every conversation.
I'm very grateful to Cody for giving us the opportunity to meet you through his (always insightful) writing.
I must admit that I'm far from being overwhelmed with empathy over Kirk's death (I do feel for his kids, though).
Yes, Cody's absolutely right about condemning political violence.
Yet ! Taking a universal example anyone can relate to, I personnally wouldn't/couldn't/and still to this day WILL NOT blame any of those failed assassination attempts on Adolf Hitler. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am certainly NOT comparing Kirk to Hitler, it's just that some of the words he said are bound to trigger violent reactions.
For most of us, this violence won't be actually acted out, but will only show up in vocal arguments or inner reflections.
So. I'm sorry to say (or am I...) that I'm actually not sorry for what happened. Does that make me evil ? I'll leave that part open for you guys to decide.
Also, I didn't fall in the traps Cody so rightfully pointed out, therefore I'm not serving you any bull like "he deserved it" or "oh well, too bad!" No. It's only my gut talking here.
The fact that I will not miss Kirk's hate speeches and certainly won't regret him being out there spitting venom DOES NOT mean I rejoice in his death : I have no doubt all the many other Kirks out there will take over and spread the same discourse (i.e. fighting for white supremacy, or comparing abortion to the Holocaust, for instance), so I'm well aware nothing was solved by him dying.
And that's where I'm stuck. Was it worth it ? I mean, when you realize that the white supremacy business will go on, what's going to happen ? By turning Kirk into a "martyr", Trump validated the fascist discourse of far-right movements like the Proud Boys and all the rest of them. So again I'm asking, ain't we, concretely, on the losing side ? In other words, who will benefit from this crime ? I'm afraid this question speaks for itself...
Angelique I appreciate the honesty in your reflection, and I don’t think it makes you evil to admit you’re not overwhelmed with empathy for Kirk.
You’re naming what many are feeling and saying out loud.
Here’s the thing though your Hitler example isn’t far off. I know you said you’re not comparing, but the parallel matters to be because when someone builds their platform on hate, intimidation, and white supremacy, violent reactions aren’t surprising.
The danger isn’t in people’s gut reactions, it’s in the system that lets someone like Kirk rise to power with billionaire backing and a pipeline of youth indoctrination. Think about it for a second
And you’re right his death doesn’t stop the movement. White supremacy doesn’t die with one man. If anything, Trump and the far right have already started to spin him into a martyr to fuel their fascist narrative. His wife recently posted a video of herself grieving with his dead body, I have never seen anything like it in the public space. Her words carried hate by saying she would carry on his mission.
That’s why the real fight isn’t about whether or not Kirk deserved empathy it’s about making sure the next generation doesn’t inherit his poison unchallenged.
Only if we stay reactive. If all we do is respond to their martyrs, we’re playing their game. The win comes from organizing, storytelling, and breaking the echo chambers Kirk thrived on.
His death doesn’t solve anything but exposing what he stood for keeps the truth alive.
I love how Cody explains you, his experience of you and the growth it's given to him because you've been there to nurture it and he was ready to hear it
In a way, he's turned the camera back on you and shown how you shine, how you stand up in the community and in life
Not easy to receive when you're used to being behind the lens hehe
I like your words here in the comments, you sound like good people and it's nice to see when nearly everyone is pissing me off to no end 🤣
It's also relatable because anyone who spends a long time behind the lens, gets added bonuses to awareness and perception shifts... Ok fair, not that everyone uses it but the potential is there
I like this and the humor too. Yeah, I usually fight my battles off camera, but society has a way of forcing the leader in me to step out from behind the lens.
I’m dealing with a lot behind the scenes, and I know this is a hot topic that most people aren’t looking at with the full picture on the table. I appreciate Cody taking the time to write this.
Very, very powerful. I admire your willingness to accept and honor feedback. We don't have to be perfect; just willing to listen, learn, and respect other people's perspective.
“I can condemn assassination while still saying Kirk’s machine was harmful as hell. Both are true.” Absolutely. As someone who is a brown female minority, I didn’t agree w/ anything he said. It’s the opposite of how I want to raise my son. But violence is never the answer. It’s so refreshing to see y’all’s relationship and ability to discuss these issues and learn from each other. We need more of this.
Oh because I forgot to say I also learned from Terrell. I’m grateful to him for sharing a perspective I can never fully know.
From my own lens, women across races and demographics routinely face discrimination, violence, or outright dismissal in every corner of society. It’s hard to speak up as it is, and Kirk’s machine was “harmful as hell” to our voices. But again, violence is never the answer.
Cody, I love what you write here about friendship, and how it is not an echo chamber. That there can be love as well as respectful challenge in a friendship or relationship.
Cody, your essay is raw, powerful, blistering ... and extraordinarily open minded. I agree with you and, thanks to your insightful viewpoint noted here, I also agree with Terrell.
As a straight white dude, the most compassionate thing I can say to a Black person is this: "I'll NEVER understand what it's like. All I can do is try."
Cody, once again you amaze me. This is the absolute best type of writing and human-ing. What I see as the most dangerous thing is the separation. In a world, where it is impossible to recognize truth from lie and lie from truth, our only amour is our 'amor' - the love for another human that guides us to respect one another and profoundly listen. I listen to you and your experience. You listen to mine. We both know that there is truth and lie in both - we are so conditioned, brainwashed, numbed, sterilized... terrified. Our brains need care and we must be careful of our own thoughts. This is why I consistently ask myself: is what I believe true? Is it truly what I believe? I have few absolute truths. I am ready to change. This does not make me fragile. It is my strength. I will never tell you that I know better because honestly, whoever thinks they know for sure is kidding themselves. And this certainty can be extremely dangerous.
I fear for the children most of all. What can they possibily know? They are growing up in a fake world where core values live only here and there, mindful parents and educators trying to do the impossible: save us from everything else. Will there be enough of us listening, with the desire to deeply connect? Will there be enough of us who are willing to say, oh I didn’t think about it that way... that view can live too... your experience is valid. And when we do not agree, will there be enough of us with the desire to peacefully talk it out with respect and love and still be friends? I hope so. For every side. For all of us. 🙏💛
Dani, I also grew up in a fake world. I was raised in south Louisiana in a racist environment that I didn’t understand or acknowledge. I grew up as a Proud American without understanding what that heritage really stood for. The false idea of American exceptionalism that was deeply embedded in my upbringing. The unlearning and recognition of the false narrative is painful and necessary.
Yvonne, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. "The unlearning and recognition of the false narrative is painful and necessary." This resonates so greatly with me. I grew up in a house of lies, lies of parents who became parents before they should, who grew up with lies and betrayal and abandonment. There was self-destruction and survival. And aren’t we all trying to survive our upbringing in some way. To some level, most children are broken down by parents and their environments. And as we grow, the motivated ones work on unlearning and unlearningand unlearning. I am all about a lifetime of unlearning. And taking radical responsibility for one's life - it is the only way to learn how to love this life and ourselves. Maybe what fears me about this new generation is that they are so conditioned not to dream, not to be curious. They are bombarded with messages of all breeds that there is no hope. And they are drugged on smartphones and other toxicities from as young as two years old. With all the trauma children experienced in the past - carrying baby wounds into adulthood always existed - I think that we had enough vitality in us to unlearn and find our way out. If nothing else, we had memories of deep connection with people and the real world, if nothing else during our times of play or going to the small local store. There is no vitality now. We are constantly interacting with dead objects that lie to us. These are just thoughts. The human spirit is stronger than I believe right now. And I do hold on to hope and I do see beauty, including this exchange with you, including Cody’s words. I am a stargazer of life. I love life too much not to be. I love myself and humanity too much not to be. I continue to unlearn. I continue to learn. I will always love more than anything else. Let me know if anything resonates with you. I am so grateful to share thoughts and emotions. Have a beautiful day. xo
Yes, I agree with everything you said. I still live in rural Arkansas and I really appreciate the opportunity to connect with people around the world. Exposing me to new information and helping me find my way in a very conservative family, community and state. Without that ability to reach outside of people in person it would have been much easier for me to stay with my blinders on.
Now I am in active antiracism community SHHARE. And have interactions with different ideologies and connections with people who share my desire for not just inclusion but equity and sustainability.
Could I have reached this place on my own? I’m not sure. I was noticing the overwhelming disparity in our world.
I do miss being in a church which is where I once found “community” but as soon as I questioned anything that community very quickly became hostile and no longer safe.
So I do understand that children need real people that they see and feel, but also recognize the great benefits to me personally that came from seeking through the digital world.
Yvonne, I want to thank you again for sharing your story with me and know that I appreciate this interaction so much. It is so fundamental for our well-being to have open minded people to interact with whether the interaction is face to face or ‘text to text/voice to voice. I do understand the advantage of having access to people far away from us. For the reasons you mentioned - I too gain so much from these type of connections and on substack alone my world has been greatly enrichened. I also see the advantage when you live far from family, which is my case. I couldn’t imagine not being able to speak with my family on a regular basis. But this is all possible without smartphones which I believe has caused and will continue to cause so much damage to all of us - physically, mentally and emotionally. But of course, there is no going back and once again we need to take radical responsibility for our own lives. This means that I need to self-regulate myself and my use of these devices. And as with absolutely everything, there is never all good or all bad. Every aspect and experience holds a bit of both. As you said in your first response, some things are painful and necessary for growth. Maybe it is another form of survival of the fittest - the strongest among us will make the best (healthier) choices for our lives and the weakest will pay the consequences and this is the way life works and things are meant to be. Sending love, xo
I’ll also say, it would not be impossible for me to move to a more diverse environment, and it has been suggested by some that I do so. It would be difficult, but possible. However, not everyone has that privilege and I have, for now, decided to stay and do what I can to stay and change what I can while being aware of all that is wrong.
Cody excellent work in humbling yourself to contemplate your words. And then you were able to write about your experience of your contemplations. This is really great with some excellent points. Thank you for calling out our privilege. And being able to write about it in a way knowing what we can speak to and can not. And I appreciate Terrell for not staying silent and being a kind enough human to speak truth through the uncomfortableness. Appreciate those that can challenge and can do with a heart to not create separation, but to allow space to find within ourselves, our truths.
Cody, this is powerful in its truth. As privileged people, we can never really know what it's like to be the "other." I married a man who is half Chinese/Filipino, and my sons remind me of what it is like to be looked at like this. I love how you speak about Terrell and how he pushes back at you and your openness to learning. Even now in semi-retirement, I am still learning - thanks to my kids and the international students I teach. Life is one long lesson in learning to live with humility and gratefulness.
I’m glad you wrote this! I feel that Terrell not only affected you in his response, but many of us that are shocked at the collective response to a hate-monger’s death. Terrell put the onus on the areas that no one was talking about. That must also have been hard to share, but it hits to the heart of what happened, cuts away the shaft and exposes the grain of truth that needed to be said. You’re lucky to have him as a friend and I’m grateful that you shared that with the rest of us.
I appreciate this follow up post Cody. I read your 1st post as well but it didn’t resonate with me and I felt as though it was missing some of the points that you addressed here. I really appreciate you taking time to listen to others and absorb their lived reality and perspective. These kinds of conversations are what are needed for actually change to happen. I am struggling myself with how to communicate with people around me who don’t grasp the impact and harm that Charlie’s words have systematically. While he didn’t physically harm people (that I know of) his rhetoric fueled people into demonizing many people who aren’t white cis males. There are so many layers of oppression and hate embedded in the organization he headed. His contributed to what is known as Social Murder which is essentially when people die avoidable deaths due to systemic harm and oppression. Charlie promoted taking away women’s right, demonizing black and brown people, saying that they are incompetent and straight up saying trans people should not exist. His beliefs were spearheaded into political activism which have impacted the laws that we live under. I appreciate this new take and I hope that we can all keep having more convos like this that bring us closer to being on the same page.
Cody I read your first piece earlier today. And now this. Because of your friend Terrell and this piece my eyes are more open than they ever have been. EVER! I cannot feel what he feels either, but I feel like you got everyone who reads this much closer to understanding him. Thank you! And thank you, Terrell! Peace. 💕
Cody, let me explain something to you it’s called perspicacity. This post is about just that. It means sharp insight, the ability to cut through noise and see the truth.
For me, it’s iron sharpening iron. I live with a level of perception shaped by a world you don’t have to survive in.
There can be empathy, but if you aren’t Black if you don’t carry ancestors who were enslaved you can’t fully understand this reality.
You see the world from a vantage point built on privilege. Some people are waking up to that privilege, but most don’t give a damn.
I’ve always spoken with you because you actually want to understand. Even if we don’t talk every day, I knew that when I pushed back, you’d at least see why. Meanwhile, I argue daily with people who defend Kirk or minimize what his movement stood for and truthfully, Kirk isn’t even the worst of them.
As long as you stay open to learning, the world has a chance to shift. But understand this I’m actively fighting not just opinions, but systems.
I’ve been blackballed, discriminated against, and shut out by the biggest corporations.
I’ve won awards on the level of the Pulitzer, yet in this anti-Black, anti-DEI landscape, the white male gaze still dictates who gets to sit at the table.
Every day I fight for my right to be great and for the chance to stand alongside peers who are too often elevated simply because of their skin color.
That’s the reality I carry into every conversation.
Hello there, Terrell !
I'm very grateful to Cody for giving us the opportunity to meet you through his (always insightful) writing.
I must admit that I'm far from being overwhelmed with empathy over Kirk's death (I do feel for his kids, though).
Yes, Cody's absolutely right about condemning political violence.
Yet ! Taking a universal example anyone can relate to, I personnally wouldn't/couldn't/and still to this day WILL NOT blame any of those failed assassination attempts on Adolf Hitler. Please don’t misunderstand me, I am certainly NOT comparing Kirk to Hitler, it's just that some of the words he said are bound to trigger violent reactions.
For most of us, this violence won't be actually acted out, but will only show up in vocal arguments or inner reflections.
So. I'm sorry to say (or am I...) that I'm actually not sorry for what happened. Does that make me evil ? I'll leave that part open for you guys to decide.
Also, I didn't fall in the traps Cody so rightfully pointed out, therefore I'm not serving you any bull like "he deserved it" or "oh well, too bad!" No. It's only my gut talking here.
The fact that I will not miss Kirk's hate speeches and certainly won't regret him being out there spitting venom DOES NOT mean I rejoice in his death : I have no doubt all the many other Kirks out there will take over and spread the same discourse (i.e. fighting for white supremacy, or comparing abortion to the Holocaust, for instance), so I'm well aware nothing was solved by him dying.
And that's where I'm stuck. Was it worth it ? I mean, when you realize that the white supremacy business will go on, what's going to happen ? By turning Kirk into a "martyr", Trump validated the fascist discourse of far-right movements like the Proud Boys and all the rest of them. So again I'm asking, ain't we, concretely, on the losing side ? In other words, who will benefit from this crime ? I'm afraid this question speaks for itself...
Angelique I appreciate the honesty in your reflection, and I don’t think it makes you evil to admit you’re not overwhelmed with empathy for Kirk.
You’re naming what many are feeling and saying out loud.
Here’s the thing though your Hitler example isn’t far off. I know you said you’re not comparing, but the parallel matters to be because when someone builds their platform on hate, intimidation, and white supremacy, violent reactions aren’t surprising.
The danger isn’t in people’s gut reactions, it’s in the system that lets someone like Kirk rise to power with billionaire backing and a pipeline of youth indoctrination. Think about it for a second
And you’re right his death doesn’t stop the movement. White supremacy doesn’t die with one man. If anything, Trump and the far right have already started to spin him into a martyr to fuel their fascist narrative. His wife recently posted a video of herself grieving with his dead body, I have never seen anything like it in the public space. Her words carried hate by saying she would carry on his mission.
That’s why the real fight isn’t about whether or not Kirk deserved empathy it’s about making sure the next generation doesn’t inherit his poison unchallenged.
So are we on the losing side?
Only if we stay reactive. If all we do is respond to their martyrs, we’re playing their game. The win comes from organizing, storytelling, and breaking the echo chambers Kirk thrived on.
His death doesn’t solve anything but exposing what he stood for keeps the truth alive.
Dude.... You seem cool!
I love how Cody explains you, his experience of you and the growth it's given to him because you've been there to nurture it and he was ready to hear it
In a way, he's turned the camera back on you and shown how you shine, how you stand up in the community and in life
Not easy to receive when you're used to being behind the lens hehe
I like your words here in the comments, you sound like good people and it's nice to see when nearly everyone is pissing me off to no end 🤣
It's also relatable because anyone who spends a long time behind the lens, gets added bonuses to awareness and perception shifts... Ok fair, not that everyone uses it but the potential is there
Keep being you
I like this and the humor too. Yeah, I usually fight my battles off camera, but society has a way of forcing the leader in me to step out from behind the lens.
I’m dealing with a lot behind the scenes, and I know this is a hot topic that most people aren’t looking at with the full picture on the table. I appreciate Cody taking the time to write this.
Thanks again for the kind words I appreciate it.
Very, very powerful. I admire your willingness to accept and honor feedback. We don't have to be perfect; just willing to listen, learn, and respect other people's perspective.
What stays with me is not the agreement, but the tension.
The part about silence hit me in the stomach because I know how often I choose silence to stay safe.
Reading you makes me feel both seen and called out. That’s uncomfortable, but it’s also a gift.
Thank you for not polishing the edges.
Cody, you are a damn good writer. I love that you possess the skill of critically thinking—something so many have lost or perhaps never had.
Your writing on this provides a lot of clarity and I hope it is widely read and well received.
And I just subscribed to Terrell. ❤️
“I can condemn assassination while still saying Kirk’s machine was harmful as hell. Both are true.” Absolutely. As someone who is a brown female minority, I didn’t agree w/ anything he said. It’s the opposite of how I want to raise my son. But violence is never the answer. It’s so refreshing to see y’all’s relationship and ability to discuss these issues and learn from each other. We need more of this.
Oh because I forgot to say I also learned from Terrell. I’m grateful to him for sharing a perspective I can never fully know.
From my own lens, women across races and demographics routinely face discrimination, violence, or outright dismissal in every corner of society. It’s hard to speak up as it is, and Kirk’s machine was “harmful as hell” to our voices. But again, violence is never the answer.
Also apologies for apparently processing this in real time in your comments. 🤦🏻♀️😂
Cody, I love what you write here about friendship, and how it is not an echo chamber. That there can be love as well as respectful challenge in a friendship or relationship.
Cody, your essay is raw, powerful, blistering ... and extraordinarily open minded. I agree with you and, thanks to your insightful viewpoint noted here, I also agree with Terrell.
As a straight white dude, the most compassionate thing I can say to a Black person is this: "I'll NEVER understand what it's like. All I can do is try."
Cody, once again you amaze me. This is the absolute best type of writing and human-ing. What I see as the most dangerous thing is the separation. In a world, where it is impossible to recognize truth from lie and lie from truth, our only amour is our 'amor' - the love for another human that guides us to respect one another and profoundly listen. I listen to you and your experience. You listen to mine. We both know that there is truth and lie in both - we are so conditioned, brainwashed, numbed, sterilized... terrified. Our brains need care and we must be careful of our own thoughts. This is why I consistently ask myself: is what I believe true? Is it truly what I believe? I have few absolute truths. I am ready to change. This does not make me fragile. It is my strength. I will never tell you that I know better because honestly, whoever thinks they know for sure is kidding themselves. And this certainty can be extremely dangerous.
I fear for the children most of all. What can they possibily know? They are growing up in a fake world where core values live only here and there, mindful parents and educators trying to do the impossible: save us from everything else. Will there be enough of us listening, with the desire to deeply connect? Will there be enough of us who are willing to say, oh I didn’t think about it that way... that view can live too... your experience is valid. And when we do not agree, will there be enough of us with the desire to peacefully talk it out with respect and love and still be friends? I hope so. For every side. For all of us. 🙏💛
Dani, I also grew up in a fake world. I was raised in south Louisiana in a racist environment that I didn’t understand or acknowledge. I grew up as a Proud American without understanding what that heritage really stood for. The false idea of American exceptionalism that was deeply embedded in my upbringing. The unlearning and recognition of the false narrative is painful and necessary.
Yvonne, thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. "The unlearning and recognition of the false narrative is painful and necessary." This resonates so greatly with me. I grew up in a house of lies, lies of parents who became parents before they should, who grew up with lies and betrayal and abandonment. There was self-destruction and survival. And aren’t we all trying to survive our upbringing in some way. To some level, most children are broken down by parents and their environments. And as we grow, the motivated ones work on unlearning and unlearningand unlearning. I am all about a lifetime of unlearning. And taking radical responsibility for one's life - it is the only way to learn how to love this life and ourselves. Maybe what fears me about this new generation is that they are so conditioned not to dream, not to be curious. They are bombarded with messages of all breeds that there is no hope. And they are drugged on smartphones and other toxicities from as young as two years old. With all the trauma children experienced in the past - carrying baby wounds into adulthood always existed - I think that we had enough vitality in us to unlearn and find our way out. If nothing else, we had memories of deep connection with people and the real world, if nothing else during our times of play or going to the small local store. There is no vitality now. We are constantly interacting with dead objects that lie to us. These are just thoughts. The human spirit is stronger than I believe right now. And I do hold on to hope and I do see beauty, including this exchange with you, including Cody’s words. I am a stargazer of life. I love life too much not to be. I love myself and humanity too much not to be. I continue to unlearn. I continue to learn. I will always love more than anything else. Let me know if anything resonates with you. I am so grateful to share thoughts and emotions. Have a beautiful day. xo
Yes, I agree with everything you said. I still live in rural Arkansas and I really appreciate the opportunity to connect with people around the world. Exposing me to new information and helping me find my way in a very conservative family, community and state. Without that ability to reach outside of people in person it would have been much easier for me to stay with my blinders on.
Now I am in active antiracism community SHHARE. And have interactions with different ideologies and connections with people who share my desire for not just inclusion but equity and sustainability.
Could I have reached this place on my own? I’m not sure. I was noticing the overwhelming disparity in our world.
I do miss being in a church which is where I once found “community” but as soon as I questioned anything that community very quickly became hostile and no longer safe.
So I do understand that children need real people that they see and feel, but also recognize the great benefits to me personally that came from seeking through the digital world.
Yvonne, I want to thank you again for sharing your story with me and know that I appreciate this interaction so much. It is so fundamental for our well-being to have open minded people to interact with whether the interaction is face to face or ‘text to text/voice to voice. I do understand the advantage of having access to people far away from us. For the reasons you mentioned - I too gain so much from these type of connections and on substack alone my world has been greatly enrichened. I also see the advantage when you live far from family, which is my case. I couldn’t imagine not being able to speak with my family on a regular basis. But this is all possible without smartphones which I believe has caused and will continue to cause so much damage to all of us - physically, mentally and emotionally. But of course, there is no going back and once again we need to take radical responsibility for our own lives. This means that I need to self-regulate myself and my use of these devices. And as with absolutely everything, there is never all good or all bad. Every aspect and experience holds a bit of both. As you said in your first response, some things are painful and necessary for growth. Maybe it is another form of survival of the fittest - the strongest among us will make the best (healthier) choices for our lives and the weakest will pay the consequences and this is the way life works and things are meant to be. Sending love, xo
I’ll also say, it would not be impossible for me to move to a more diverse environment, and it has been suggested by some that I do so. It would be difficult, but possible. However, not everyone has that privilege and I have, for now, decided to stay and do what I can to stay and change what I can while being aware of all that is wrong.
Cody excellent work in humbling yourself to contemplate your words. And then you were able to write about your experience of your contemplations. This is really great with some excellent points. Thank you for calling out our privilege. And being able to write about it in a way knowing what we can speak to and can not. And I appreciate Terrell for not staying silent and being a kind enough human to speak truth through the uncomfortableness. Appreciate those that can challenge and can do with a heart to not create separation, but to allow space to find within ourselves, our truths.
Cody, this is powerful in its truth. As privileged people, we can never really know what it's like to be the "other." I married a man who is half Chinese/Filipino, and my sons remind me of what it is like to be looked at like this. I love how you speak about Terrell and how he pushes back at you and your openness to learning. Even now in semi-retirement, I am still learning - thanks to my kids and the international students I teach. Life is one long lesson in learning to live with humility and gratefulness.
I really enjoyed this perspective
YES PREACH CODY
I’m glad you wrote this! I feel that Terrell not only affected you in his response, but many of us that are shocked at the collective response to a hate-monger’s death. Terrell put the onus on the areas that no one was talking about. That must also have been hard to share, but it hits to the heart of what happened, cuts away the shaft and exposes the grain of truth that needed to be said. You’re lucky to have him as a friend and I’m grateful that you shared that with the rest of us.
I appreciate this follow up post Cody. I read your 1st post as well but it didn’t resonate with me and I felt as though it was missing some of the points that you addressed here. I really appreciate you taking time to listen to others and absorb their lived reality and perspective. These kinds of conversations are what are needed for actually change to happen. I am struggling myself with how to communicate with people around me who don’t grasp the impact and harm that Charlie’s words have systematically. While he didn’t physically harm people (that I know of) his rhetoric fueled people into demonizing many people who aren’t white cis males. There are so many layers of oppression and hate embedded in the organization he headed. His contributed to what is known as Social Murder which is essentially when people die avoidable deaths due to systemic harm and oppression. Charlie promoted taking away women’s right, demonizing black and brown people, saying that they are incompetent and straight up saying trans people should not exist. His beliefs were spearheaded into political activism which have impacted the laws that we live under. I appreciate this new take and I hope that we can all keep having more convos like this that bring us closer to being on the same page.
Cody I read your first piece earlier today. And now this. Because of your friend Terrell and this piece my eyes are more open than they ever have been. EVER! I cannot feel what he feels either, but I feel like you got everyone who reads this much closer to understanding him. Thank you! And thank you, Terrell! Peace. 💕
Very insightful. Thank you for sharing. I have struggled to put what I was feeling into words and your thoughts from Terrell Groggins did a good job.
And I followed Terrell. Thank you for introducing me to him.