This article is spot on about manipulators Cody. I will never understand how anyone can intentionally manipulate someone else in order to control them. I’m grateful my interactions were short lived. You are stronger because of your experiences Cody.
One of the hardest things to do is not participate in the smear campaign. I struggle to keep my mouth shut. I want to defend myself. But I’m learning that the best way to defend myself is to not participate. Because anything you say will be used against you by evil people.
Just found your Substack. Thank you for literally ALL of your writing. I have an older sibling who demonstrates many traits of a narcissist. It took YEARS for me recognize it, and I’m the only one who is getting free. There is also no way to stay in contact with people I love without having some level of forced contact with her. The notes on clarity and trusting our nervous systems really stuck with me (I was contacted by her very recently and my first response was goosebumps and blood pressure going up). It’s almost like as I get clearer, she gets more deviant.
Same…I just asked her to describe what she saw. Instead of confirming anything she insinuated I would get more details first before admitting anything about myself.
This is exactly what my parents are like. Try to have a meaningful discussion to talk about the C-PTSD I have to live with and then the “it’s like you blame me” comes flying out and then the gaslighting. I’ve taken the “you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” approach. Their growth is not my problem.
This is the most accurate breakdown of escalation I’ve ever read. The line “their escalation is your confirmation” is dead-on. The clarity doesn’t cause the chaos — it exposes it.
Also asking 'why did you deny that when it's here in this thread?' when you've evidenced communication they have denied and watch the fireworks. Don't ever say 'your emotions are not my responsibility' that's nuclear fallout to take cover from
This article is spot on about manipulators Cody. I will never understand how anyone can intentionally manipulate someone else in order to control them. I’m grateful my interactions were short lived. You are stronger because of your experiences Cody.
One of the hardest things to do is not participate in the smear campaign. I struggle to keep my mouth shut. I want to defend myself. But I’m learning that the best way to defend myself is to not participate. Because anything you say will be used against you by evil people.
Just found your Substack. Thank you for literally ALL of your writing. I have an older sibling who demonstrates many traits of a narcissist. It took YEARS for me recognize it, and I’m the only one who is getting free. There is also no way to stay in contact with people I love without having some level of forced contact with her. The notes on clarity and trusting our nervous systems really stuck with me (I was contacted by her very recently and my first response was goosebumps and blood pressure going up). It’s almost like as I get clearer, she gets more deviant.
Thank you for bringing light to my current situation.
Can you give me a specific example? is the best question I started asking.
Simple
Powerful
and it shuts down a lot of conversations and causes people to stutter.
Distance allows your nervous system to heal and you begin to realize you do not miss the connection as much as you though you would
Distance from toxic people is clarity
Same…I just asked her to describe what she saw. Instead of confirming anything she insinuated I would get more details first before admitting anything about myself.
I love “Flying Monkeys”.
I get all of this, as my family was that way. The part that gobsmacks me is that a therapist did that to you. Glad you got out. You sound strong.
This is exactly what my parents are like. Try to have a meaningful discussion to talk about the C-PTSD I have to live with and then the “it’s like you blame me” comes flying out and then the gaslighting. I’ve taken the “you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” approach. Their growth is not my problem.
Reading your work confirms my beliefs. I got here twice. But never again. Thank you for your work.
👌🏻💥👌🏻💥
This is the most accurate breakdown of escalation I’ve ever read. The line “their escalation is your confirmation” is dead-on. The clarity doesn’t cause the chaos — it exposes it.
Also asking 'why did you deny that when it's here in this thread?' when you've evidenced communication they have denied and watch the fireworks. Don't ever say 'your emotions are not my responsibility' that's nuclear fallout to take cover from