12 Comments
User's avatar
Karin Loess's avatar

Well, again, you probably saved some of us several therapy sessions.

Whatever this wisdom cost you to acquire, I gather it was steep. Please be assured it pays off in dividends which, I hope, are worthwhile reward.

Thanks from me. Peace to you.

Expand full comment
Cody Taymore's avatar

Thank you Karin

Expand full comment
Jennifer M's avatar

This came at exactly the right moment for me. Thank you. It makes sense and I see myself in your words. The difficult part you describe so perfectly. My journey continues.🩵

Expand full comment
Melissa Sandfort's avatar

This is a deep one!

The lack of motivation to take the next step towards the next success is so insidious, subtle and hard to detect.

I don’t have a critical voice in my head telling me anything. It’s just a firefighter, in Internal Family Systems terms, who doesn’t do it.

That’s all.

It just doesn’t seem like a very strong resistance.

But it is!!!!!

Expand full comment
Stephanie's avatar

OMGoshYasss!!!

Expand full comment
Zihna Augustine's avatar

This explains a lot. I know I have had some of these thoughts. Mostly that i don’t deserve might not be able to maintain it, etc. But I also had a childhood where things were skewed. My mother got angry if I did well. Told me to hide my good report card because then my dad would want to see my brothers which wouldn’t be good. If I lost weight on a diet she told me I looked like I had cancer…etc. My father was a perfectionist. If I got an A why wasn’t it an A+. If I came in second in a race I was a failure. My mom was only nice to me when my life was a mess and I was in pain. My father would be angry with me for the same thing. So…lots of confusing messages. In spite of it, I left an abusive marriage, remarried a supportive man who told me I was not stupid and sent me to school where I got 2 PH.D.s But I never let people call me doctor, lol Felt I didn’t deserve that title. What a crazy mess I created for myself. I’m old now and have worked through a lot of things. But, I still have a ways to go. Good article. Thank you.

Expand full comment
Rachel Victorianna's avatar

This is super timely for me. I am polishing my novel for publication. A couple of weeks ago, I woke up in the middle of the night having a full-on panic attack. It morphed into a full-blown PTSD episode. Nothing was out of the ordinary, except... potential success. 

My novel — a fictionalized memoir — is threatening to break apart all of my self-protecting mechanisms. 

"Do I really want to expose my vulnerabilities like this?"

"Turn myself inside out to help a stranger?" 

"Am I strong enough to withstand naysayers?"

"Am I humble enough to handle praise without it going to my head?"

I pray for God’s will for my life and the power to carry it out. I pray for wisdom, mercy and grace...

Thank you for turning yourself inside out for strangers. 🤍

Expand full comment
Andrew Dickson's avatar

Congrats on getting your book to the point of publication Rachel. I have been self-sabotaging my memoir (of an 8yr period of personal spiritual and emotional growth) for nearly 15yrs. I have been wondering if the fictionalized memoir path might work better?

Expand full comment
Rachel Victorianna's avatar

Hello Andrew,

That’s a wonderful question. My memoir started in first person. Because it is such a strange story I thought it would be swallowed easier if it was fiction so I changed it to the third person. Why don’t you read a couple chapters and get back to me to continue this discussion. Thank you for your comment.

Expand full comment
LyndaJoyJamysen AKALibertyJoy!'s avatar

Excellent!!

Expand full comment
Marijo Codesal's avatar

It feels very dangerous stepping out of our “comfort zone”. When I work with myself and the people I coach financially I always invite them to expand the comfort zone. What’s the next baby step that move the needle? Thanks for sharing!!!

Expand full comment
Fluff n Stuff's avatar

Fab work again Cody. What you say here makes perfect sense to me. Thank you! 🙏

Expand full comment