The High Performer’s Blindspot: Why Successful People Get Destroyed By Narcissists

(And The 9 Traits That Make You A Target)

You think narcissists target weak people.

You’re wrong.

They target competent people. Reliable people. High achievers who get shit done.

I know because I was one.

And my therapist still destroyed me.

Not because I was weak. Because I was useful.

Here’s what nobody tells you: The exact traits that make you successful are the same traits that make you perfect prey. Your discipline becomes their control mechanism. Your loyalty becomes their leverage. Your competence becomes their cover story.

Let me show you how it works.

Why High Performers Are The Easiest Targets

Narcissists don’t want broken people. Broken people can’t do anything for them.

They want functional people who can execute. People with resources. People with credibility they can borrow. People who solve problems without being told.

Think about it from their perspective. If you’re going to manipulate someone for money, status, or control, would you pick someone who can barely function? Or would you pick someone with a career, savings account, and reputation?

The answer is obvious.

When my therapist decided to extort me, she didn’t pick me because I was vulnerable. She picked me because I was a licensed financial advisor with professional credibility, steady income, and a proven track record of following through on commitments.

I was valuable. That’s why I was targeted.

You probably are too.

The 9 Traits That Make You A Target

These aren’t weaknesses. These are the exact traits that made you successful. But in the hands of a skilled manipulator, they become weapons used against you.

1. Reliability

You do what you say you’ll do. When you commit to something, you follow through. Deadlines matter. Promises matter. Your word matters.

This is why you’re successful. It’s also why you’re fucked.

Because once a narcissist identifies you as reliable, they know you won’t just quit. You won’t ghost them. You won’t walk away from commitments.

My therapist knew this about me. Five years of therapy sessions where I showed up every single week. Never missed an appointment. Always paid on time. Reliable.

So when she started demanding money, she knew I’d pay. When she created fake contracts with payment schedules, she knew I’d follow them. When she threatened to destroy my career if I didn’t comply, she knew I wouldn’t just disappear.

I was too reliable to escape.

How it gets weaponized: They create obligations you feel bound to honor. Contracts. Agreements. Verbal commitments. They know you’ll torture yourself trying to fulfill them even when the terms are insane.

2. High Standards

You hold yourself to high standards. Good enough isn’t good enough. You want to do things right.

This makes you excellent at your job. It also makes you controllable.

Because narcissists can always find something you’re not doing perfectly. Always. Your high standards become the weapon they use to make you feel inadequate.

My manager at Fidelity used this constantly. No matter what I did, there was “still a lot of work to do.” When I asked what I needed to improve to get promoted, he wouldn’t give me a clear answer. Just vague statements about “having conversations the right way.”

I killed myself trying to meet standards that didn’t exist.

How it gets weaponized: They move the goalposts. You’ll never be good enough because “good enough” isn’t the point. Keeping you off balance is the point.

3. Problem Solver Mentality

When something is broken, you fix it. When there’s a challenge, you figure it out. You don’t complain. You solve.

This trait built your career. It will also trap you.

Because narcissists create problems for you to solve. Constantly. And every time you solve one, they create another.

My therapist was a master at this. She’d tell me someone was stalking her. I’d try to help. Then she’d say my ex was attacking her online. I’d try to fix it. Then she’d claim people were filing fake complaints against her psychology license. I’d pay money to make it stop.

Each problem seemed real. Each problem seemed solvable. Each problem kept me engaged.

I was so busy solving her manufactured crises that I never stopped to ask why there were so many crises.

How it gets weaponized: They create an endless stream of problems that only you can solve. You become addicted to fixing things. You can’t walk away because there’s always one more problem to solve.