The DARVO Scripts: What To Say When They Flip It On You

Word-for-word responses when they make you the villain for calling out their behavior.

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You came here to talk about what they did.

Five minutes later, you’re apologizing for how you brought it up.

You’re not sure what just happened. You had a point. You had evidence. You were right.

Now you’re wrong. Now you’re the problem. Now you’re the one who hurt them.

That’s DARVO. And you need to know what to say when it’s happening.

These aren’t communication techniques. These aren’t “healthy dialogue” tips.

These are the exact words you say when your brain shuts down and they’re trying to make you the abuser.

Read them. Practice them. Have them ready before you need them.

The Rules

1. Don’t defend yourself

That’s what they want. The second you start defending, you’ve lost. Don’t take the bait.

2. Don’t explain

Every word is ammunition. They’ll twist whatever you say. Keep it short.

3. Bring it back to what they did

Over and over. Like a broken record. Don’t let them change the subject.

4. You can leave

If it’s not working, you walk away. That’s always an option.