It’s been a minute. Episode 14. I missed the last month because I was depressed. Straight up. I don’t need to dress it up or make excuses. I was in it.
When I’m depressed I do stupid shit. I fell back into vaping nicotine. I hate it. I’m working on it. I’m not proud but I’m honest. I was also buying packages like crazy because it gave me something to look forward to when nothing else did.
The Lions won and that felt good. I’m watching again. That small hit of joy matters when everything else feels heavy.
But here’s the bigger reality — I got arrested this year. Two weeks before my 33rd birthday. I’m on probation. First time in my life. I’ll own it. I’ll take it like a man. My decisions are mine.
And I’m suing my former therapist. She blackmailed me. Extorted me. Used everything she knew about my trauma to try to break me. The police have my proof. The licensing board has my proof. It’s been slow as hell. But I’m not shutting up. You picked the wrong guy to try and destroy.
That’s where I’ve been. Sitting in the storm. Fighting depression. Fighting the system. Fighting myself.
What I’ve learned is simple — sometimes suffering is inevitable. You can either fight it and sink or lean into it and find meaning. It doesn’t mean you like it. It means you decide it won’t kill you.
So if you’re in the middle of your own shit — grief, loss, abuse, betrayal — breathe. Tell the truth. Own your mistakes. Hold on until the storm passes. One day it’ll be part of the story you tell when you’re standing back up.
Thank you for sticking with me. For reading, listening, watching, sharing. It means more than you know. I’m not gone. I just needed to come back real.
-Cody Taymore
Kill The Silence
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