I want to scream. I fit in each of your points. And it's quite horrific and painful to read my own feelings / reactions to the outside world through words written by someone else. So. I'm not alone, that I had already suspected. But what makes me cringe and leaves me befuddled is that it stops right at the behavior. The "reasons why" don’t match. My parents never tricked me with calculated compliments, or made me feel guilty, yet I apologize for absolutely everything, and I almost want to apologize for being born. Ain't it sick... A compliment ? I always find a way out to divert it from me to the context, I must make anyone who praises me realize that they're wrong, they're mistaken, I don’t deserve any of it, it's just chance, it's not my fault !!!
I'm asking you, Cody, whoever reading this, WHY. If it's not narcissist parents, then what. Is it in me ? Within me ? On the other hand, I was on the lookout for arguments between my parents, because it was my job (self-attributed) to soothe things out, make it less worse, comfort my mom if she cried, and so on. WHY ????? I'm 56 and it's still going on, always, and I'm sorry for spilling all over as always... if any of you has even the beginning of an explanation, please, please help me, let me know. Cody, thank you.
This was/is me. I try every day to let go of the old survival skills I honed. Learning to let go of your old self is a lifelong job (for me.)
I need to read this every day until it reprograms me completely.
Thank you, Cody. 💕
Oh boy. Did this ever hit home. Thank you.
I do these things but I think it was from 12 years of being in an abusive marriage. I sure this didn’t come from my growing up.
I want to scream. I fit in each of your points. And it's quite horrific and painful to read my own feelings / reactions to the outside world through words written by someone else. So. I'm not alone, that I had already suspected. But what makes me cringe and leaves me befuddled is that it stops right at the behavior. The "reasons why" don’t match. My parents never tricked me with calculated compliments, or made me feel guilty, yet I apologize for absolutely everything, and I almost want to apologize for being born. Ain't it sick... A compliment ? I always find a way out to divert it from me to the context, I must make anyone who praises me realize that they're wrong, they're mistaken, I don’t deserve any of it, it's just chance, it's not my fault !!!
I'm asking you, Cody, whoever reading this, WHY. If it's not narcissist parents, then what. Is it in me ? Within me ? On the other hand, I was on the lookout for arguments between my parents, because it was my job (self-attributed) to soothe things out, make it less worse, comfort my mom if she cried, and so on. WHY ????? I'm 56 and it's still going on, always, and I'm sorry for spilling all over as always... if any of you has even the beginning of an explanation, please, please help me, let me know. Cody, thank you.
7 out of 7.
Relatable 👀
So how does this play out for the children of those raised by someone who does all these things?