How Corporate America Gaslights Neurodivergent Employees Into Quitting (And Why They Do It on Purpose)

They don't fire you for having ADHD. They create impossible conditions, document your struggle, then call it performance issues. Here's the playbook they use.

I managed a roughly $500 million book of business while my manager systematically destroyed my mental health.

For two years running, I was the top-performing advisor in my branch at Fidelity Investments. I had my ADHD and CPTSD under control, my work was excellent, and my clients loved me.

Then I made a critical mistake: I disclosed my neurodivergence to my employer.

Within months, they had me fired using tactics so sophisticated that I almost believed I deserved it.

Here's the playbook they use to legally discriminate against neurodivergent employees—and why they do it on purpose.

The Business Case for Breaking You Down

Let's start with the uncomfortable truth: it's cheaper to gaslight neurodivergent employees into quitting than to provide accommodations.

Think about the math:

• ADA accommodations cost money: Modified schedules, assistive technology, quiet workspaces, clear written instructions

• Wrongful termination settlements cost money: But only if you can prove discrimination

• Psychological manipulation costs nothing: And leaves no legal fingerprints

Corporate America has perfected a system that looks like performance management but functions like systematic abuse. They don't say "we're firing you for being ADHD." They say "you're not following the process."

The genius is that they use your neurodivergent traits against you while making it look like you're failing to meet reasonable standards.

I know this because I lived it. And I documented every single manipulation tactic they used.

Step 1: The Setup - Making You Grateful for Basic Respect

It started when I disclosed my ADHD diagnosis to my manager, Tom. The formal psychological evaluation had confirmed what I already knew: ADHD Combined Presentation with executive functioning challenges.

Tom's response? "Yeah well, I probably have it too, I get distracted sometimes too."

This wasn't ignorance. This was strategy. By minimizing my diagnosis, he:

• Avoided discussing actual accommodations

• Made me feel like I was asking for special treatment

• Established that my documented disability was just "everyone's normal"

When Fidelity held "Neurodivergent Awareness Week" that same month, the irony was crushing. They were publicly celebrating neurodiversity while privately ensuring I felt broken for needing support.

Step 2: The Moving Target - Creating Impossible Standards

The key to legal discrimination is creating standards that look reasonable but are designed to exploit neurodivergent vulnerabilities.

Enter "the process."

For months, Tom and my coach Scott demanded I follow "the process" without ever defining what it was. When I asked for clear, step-by-step instructions (a basic ADHD accommodation), they'd respond with:

"It's not about the numbers, I'm never going to get upset with you if you don't have good results. We are more apt to go to bat for you with Randy if you have the conversations in the right way."

What "the right way" meant? They refused to clarify.

When I observed other advisors doing things differently and asked about consistency, Tom would say: "They cover everything in their process with this process."

What "this process" was? Still no answer.

They created a maze with invisible walls, then blamed me for hitting them.

The brilliance of this tactic is that:

• It looks like reasonable performance management

• It exploits executive functioning challenges (we need clear structure)

• It creates constant anxiety and confusion

• It makes you doubt your own competence

• It's impossible to prove discrimination

Step 3: Weaponizing Your Disclosure Against You

Once they knew about my ADHD, every interaction became a trap.

When I'd ask for clarification on contradictory instructions, Tom would respond with questions instead of answers: "How much of your development is your responsibility?"

When I'd point out inconsistencies in "the process," he'd test my memory of irrelevant client details: "What's your client's son's name from last week's appointment?"

When I said the name wasn't relevant to that day's work, he responded: "Then why do you think you deserve to do business with him? Why do you think he should do business with you?"

This isn't performance management. This is psychological warfare designed to exploit ADHD symptoms:

• Testing working memory under stress

• Creating situations where detail-focused questions have no right answer

• Using executive dysfunction against you

• Making you feel incompetent for needing structure

Step 4: The Addiction Exploitation

The manipulation got darker when they learned about my recovery.

My coach Scott repeatedly invited me to drink despite knowing I was sober:

• "We should get a drink"

• "We should talk about this over a beer"

• "You should grab a beer this weekend and read this"

When I reported this to Tom, his response? "Well that's just how Scott is. Maybe I can join in to keep you guys on task."

This wasn't carelessness. This was testing boundaries.

They were systematically probing for vulnerabilities:

• How much abuse would I accept?

• Could they trigger a relapse?

• Would I quit rather than keep fighting?

Step 5: Income-Based Harassment and Social Intimidation

Tom regularly made comments about my income:

• "I wish I was making what you're making when I was your age"

• "You should be pretty comfortable at the income you're making"

• "We are probably going to retire at the same time"

This serves multiple functions:

• Creates guilt about compensation

• Suggests you don't deserve what you're earning

• Builds resentment from management

• Makes you feel like a target

The psychological impact is devastating when you're already struggling with imposter syndrome—a common ADHD experience.

Step 6: The HR Complaint Trap

When I finally filed an HR complaint on January 25th, 2023, citing:

• Condescending communication

• Lack of clear feedback

• Income-based harassment

• Dismissal of my disability needs

The retaliation was swift and calculated.

The very next day, I received a lunch invitation from the Branch Office Manager "to celebrate, acknowledge, discuss, and learn from Taymore's progress/journey."

During this lunch, they:

• Grilled me about my income goals

• Asked why I wanted to make more money

• Questioned what I'd do with additional income

• Told me directly: "I asked Scott if anyone could become VPFC if they weren't following the process and Scott said there was no way"

They turned my performance review into a financial interrogation designed to make me feel greedy for wanting advancement in my career.

Step 7: The Compliance Setup

The final manipulation was the most sophisticated.

Tom had previously told me that my client outreach emails just needed "more neutral language." I specifically asked if there was a limit to the number of emails I could send. He said no limit, just change the wording.

I thought I was compliant. I was wrong.

When they fired me, HR cited "emails needing 9/10 approval" as the reason. The very issue Tom had told me was resolved became the justification for termination.

This is the setup:

1. Create confusion about compliance requirements

2. Give contradictory guidance

3. Document the confusion as "performance issues"

4. Use their own mixed messages as grounds for termination

Here's the smoking gun that proves they knew what they did was illegal: They offered me a $28,000 severance package to not sue them or pursue arbitration.

Think about that for a second. If I was legitimately fired for performance issues, why would they pay me to stay quiet? Why would they need to buy my silence if their actions were justified?

Companies don't offer severance to prevent lawsuits unless they know they have legal exposure.

The Pattern Recognition: How to Spot Corporate Gaslighting

After documenting my experience and comparing notes with others, here are the warning signs:

Early Stage Manipulation:

• Your disability disclosure gets minimized or dismissed

• Accommodations requests are ignored or delayed indefinitely

• Standards become vague and constantly shifting

• You're told you're "not following the process" without clear definition of what the process is

Escalation Tactics:

• Questions replace answers when you ask for clarification

• Your memory or competence gets tested with irrelevant details

• Other employees aren't held to the same standards

• Your personal vulnerabilities (addiction, mental health) get "accidentally" triggered

The Setup for Termination:

• Compliance issues that were previously "resolved" resurface as problems

• Documentation doesn't match your understanding of conversations

• You're treated differently than other employees (security guards, isolation)

• HR complaints trigger immediate "performance concerns"

The goal isn't to help you succeed. It's to create a paper trail that justifies your elimination.

Why This System Exists (And Why It's Spreading)

Corporate America has discovered that neurodivergent employees are simultaneously:

• High value (we often excel at pattern recognition, hyperfocus, creative problem-solving)

• High risk (we might actually need accommodations, understand our rights, or call out systemic problems)

The solution? Extract maximum value during our productive periods, then manufacture reasons to eliminate us before accommodation costs accumulate.

This system is spreading because:

• It's legally bulletproof (performance issues vs. discrimination)

• It's cost-effective (no accommodation expenses)

• It's scalable (works on any neurodivergent employee)

• It's deniable (looks like legitimate performance management)

The Financial Services Industry: A Case Study in Systematic Discrimination

Financial services companies are particularly sophisticated at this because:

Regulatory environment provides cover

• "Compliance concerns" sound legitimate and serious

• Complex rules create opportunities for selective enforcement

• "Suitability standards" can be weaponized against anyone

High-stress culture normalizes abuse

• "If you can't handle the pressure, this isn't for you"

• Performance metrics justify almost any treatment

• "Eat what you kill" mentality reduces empathy

Documentation requirements create paper trails

• Every conversation can be selectively recorded

• Interpretations of policies can be manipulated after the fact

• Compliance violations can be manufactured retroactively

I managed $500 million successfully while experiencing this abuse. Imagine what I could have accomplished in a supportive environment.

The Intersection: How Workplace Trauma Enables Other Abuse

Here's the part that should terrify you: the psychological damage from corporate gaslighting makes you vulnerable to abuse in other areas of life.

After my termination, I was financially devastated, professionally humiliated, and psychologically shattered. My trust in my own perceptions was destroyed.

That's when my therapist saw her opportunity.

The same vulnerability that corporations exploit—our need for clear structure, our tendency to doubt ourselves, our fear of professional failure—becomes a pathway for other predators.

The workplace abuse conditioned me to:

• Accept authority figures' version of reality over my own

• Believe that questioning "the process" meant I was resistant or broken

• Feel grateful for basic respect and clarity

• Assume that if I was struggling, I must be doing something wrong

These exact vulnerabilities made me susceptible to a therapist who would later extort $126,000 from me using similar manipulation tactics.

Corporate gaslighting isn't just about your job. It's about rewiring your brain to accept abuse as normal.

How to Protect Yourself: A Survival Guide

Document Everything Obsessively

• Record all meetings (check your state's recording laws)

• Follow up verbal conversations with "just to confirm" emails

• Screenshot unclear directives and contradictory guidance

• Keep copies of all performance reviews and feedback

Ask for Written Clarification

• "Can you put that in writing so I make sure I understand?"

• "What specific metrics will be used to evaluate this?"

• "Who can I check with to confirm I'm following the correct process?"

Know Your Rights

• Request accommodations through HR in writing

• Understand your state's disability protection laws

• Document when accommodations are denied or ignored

• Know what constitutes a hostile work environment

Build Your Exit Strategy

• Keep your resume updated constantly

• Maintain external professional relationships

• Document your achievements independently

• Save enough money to survive a sudden termination

Recognize the Manipulation

• If standards keep changing, that's not poor communication—it's intentional

• If you're the only one being held to certain requirements, that's targeted harassment

• If your disability disclosure preceded performance problems, that's likely discrimination

• If you feel constantly confused despite being competent, you're being gaslighted

• If they offer you severance to "avoid litigation," they know they fucked up

The Legal Reality: Why Documentation Matters

The hard truth is that most employment discrimination is difficult to prove. But corporate gaslighting leaves patterns that can be documented:

Timing Evidence

• Performance issues that begin after disability disclosure

• Accommodation requests that coincide with increased scrutiny

• HR complaints followed by immediate retaliation

Disparate Treatment Evidence

• Different standards applied to you vs. other employees

• Requests for clarification that others don't face

• Isolation tactics not used on similarly situated employees

Pattern Evidence

• Multiple instances of moving targets

• Contradictory instructions followed by performance criticism

• Selective enforcement of policies

• Severance offers to prevent legal action (they don't pay to avoid lawsuits unless they know they're exposed)

The key is building a timeline that shows the systematic nature of the treatment.

For Managers: How to Actually Support Neurodivergent Employees

If you're in management and want to do better:

Provide Real Accommodations

• Written instructions for multi-step processes

• Consistent check-in schedules

• Clear success metrics defined upfront

• Quiet spaces for focused work

Communicate Clearly

• Answer questions directly instead of with questions

• Define processes in writing with specific steps

• Acknowledge when requirements change and explain why

• Give specific, actionable feedback

Create Psychological Safety

• Don't test memory or competence with irrelevant details

• Avoid triggering known vulnerabilities (addiction, trauma)

• Treat accommodation requests as problem-solving opportunities

• Address team dynamics that might isolate neurodivergent employees

Track Your Own Bias

• Notice if you're holding certain employees to different standards

• Question whether your feedback is specific and actionable

• Consider whether your communication style works for different brain types

• Get training on neurodiversity and accommodation best practices

The Bigger Picture: Why This Matters Beyond Individual Careers

Corporate gaslighting of neurodivergent employees is about more than workplace discrimination. It's about:

Economic Justice

• Neurodivergent people deserve equal access to high-paying careers

• Our cognitive differences often create value that benefits everyone

• Systematic exclusion wastes human potential and talent

Mental Health Crisis

• Workplace trauma compounds existing mental health challenges

• Gaslighting creates PTSD that affects all areas of life

• The stress of masking neurodivergent traits while being discriminated against is unsustainable

Systemic Change

• These tactics work because they exploit real accommodation needs

• True inclusion requires structural changes, not just policy statements

• Individual success stories don't fix systematic problems

Cultural Shift

• We need to normalize different ways of thinking and working

• Neurodiversity should be seen as valuable, not just tolerated

• Corporate cultures that abuse difference hurt everyone eventually

The Bottom Line

I was a top performer managing $500 million while being systematically psychologically tortured.

They didn't fire me for having ADHD. They created impossible conditions, documented my confusion, then called it performance issues.

The same tactics that work on neurodivergent employees work on anyone who dares to be different, ask questions, or need accommodations.

This isn't about one bad company or a few toxic managers. This is about a systematic approach to legal discrimination that's spreading across corporate America.

They're not trying to help you succeed. They're trying to extract value while building a case to eliminate you.

The only defense is recognition, documentation, and solidarity with others experiencing the same treatment.

Your brain isn't broken. Your needs aren't unreasonable. Your struggles aren't performance issues.

You're being systematically manipulated by people who profit from your confusion and self-doubt.

Stop believing their version of reality. Start documenting yours.

And remember: the same tactics they use to control you at work are being used to control vulnerable people everywhere.

The fight for neurodivergent rights at work is the fight for human dignity everywhere.

— Cody Taymore

Kill The Silence

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