ADHD + Alcohol: Why Your Brain Needs Different Tactics
Standard sobriety advice doesn't work if you have ADHD. Here's why, and what to do instead.
I got diagnosed with ADHD at 30. September 2022. Three years after I quit drinking.
Looking at the results, it all made sense. I’d been drinking to manage symptoms I didn’t know I had.
A pint of vodka every night. Sometimes mixed with valium. Not because I wanted to die. Because I wanted relief from how badly I was feeling.
If you have ADHD, your relationship with alcohol is fundamentally different than neurotypical people. And trying to quit using neurotypical tactics is why you keep failing.
Here’s what nobody tells you about ADHD and alcohol, and what actually works.
THE DOPAMINE PROBLEM
Your ADHD brain doesn’t produce enough dopamine. That’s the actual issue.
Dopamine is what makes you feel motivated, focused, satisfied, alive. Neurotypical brains make enough naturally. Yours doesn’t.
So you’ve spent your entire life unconsciously seeking dopamine. Video games. Food. Risk taking. Chaos. And alcohol.
Alcohol floods your brain with dopamine. Fast. Reliable. Easy.
For an ADHD brain that’s been running on empty, alcohol feels like finally getting oxygen.
This is why you drink more than other people. Your brain needs more dopamine than theirs. Alcohol provides it.
That’s not weakness. That’s biochemistry.
WHY STANDARD SOBRIETY ADVICE FAILS ADHD BRAINS
“Just find a hobby.”
Your ADHD brain needs IMMEDIATE dopamine. Hobbies take time to get good at. Time to see results.
You don’t have the dopamine to sustain effort without immediate reward. So you start the hobby, get bored in 20 minutes, quit, feel like a failure, want to drink.
“Practice mindfulness.”
Mindfulness requires sitting still with your thoughts. Your ADHD brain cannot sit still with your thoughts. That’s the problem.
You try to meditate. Your brain screams at you. You give up. Want to drink.
“Take it one day at a time.”
ADHD brains don’t do “one day at a time.” We do “right now or never.”
Telling an ADHD brain to think about tomorrow is like telling a drowning person to worry about next week. We’re drowning right now.
“Go to AA meetings.”
Sit still for an hour. Listen to people talk. Don’t interrupt. Follow a structured program. Wait your turn.
Your ADHD brain would rather die.
THE ADHD PATTERNS WITH ALCOHOL
If you have ADHD, you probably recognize these:
YOU DRINK TO QUIET YOUR BRAIN
Your brain never shuts up. It’s 47 tabs open, all playing different videos, all the time.
Alcohol closes the tabs. That’s why you drink at night. To finally get silence.
YOU DRINK TO FOCUS
Paradoxically, alcohol helps you focus. One or two drinks and suddenly you can finish something. Not get distracted.
This is your brain desperately trying to self medicate.
YOU DRINK IMPULSIVELY
You don’t plan to drink. You just suddenly drink. You’re not even sure why.
That’s ADHD impulsivity. No pause between thought and action.
YOU CAN’T MODERATE
“Just have one drink” doesn’t work. One drink provides dopamine. Your brain wants MORE dopamine. So you have another. And another.
Your brain doesn’t understand moderation. It understands all or nothing.
YOU DRINK WHEN YOU’RE BORED
Boredom for an ADHD brain is physical pain. Like being stabbed. Alcohol makes the pain stop.
This is why you can’t just “sit with the discomfort.” The discomfort is unbearable in ways neurotypical people cannot understand.
YOU FORGET YOU’RE NOT DRINKING
Week two sober and you suddenly find yourself holding a beer. You don’t remember getting it.
ADHD brains run on autopilot. Your autopilot brain still thinks you drink.
YOU DRINK FOR RELIEF
You’re not trying to party. You’re not trying to have fun. You’re trying to feel less bad.
That’s what people don’t get. The drinking isn’t recreational. It’s medicinal. It’s survival.
WHY ADHD MAKES QUITTING HARDER
Standard quitting is hard. ADHD quitting is different.
TIME DOESN’T EXIST
Neurotypical people can think “I’ll feel better in three days.” Their brain understands three days.
Your ADHD brain doesn’t understand three days. It understands NOW and NOT NOW.
So when you’re in withdrawal on Day 2 and someone says “it gets better in a few days,” your brain hears “never.”
YOU CAN’T REMEMBER WHY YOU QUIT
You wrote down your reasons on Day 1. You were so clear. So committed.
Day 3 you can’t remember any of it. Your brain literally cannot access that information when you need it.
That’s not weakness. That’s ADHD working memory. It’s shit.
CRAVINGS HIT LIKE A TRUCK
Neurotypical cravings build gradually. You can feel them coming.
ADHD cravings are zero to 100 in three seconds. You’re fine. Then suddenly you NEED to drink RIGHT NOW.
YOU NEED STRUCTURE BUT CAN’T MAINTAIN IT
You need routines to stay sober. ADHD brains need external structure.
But you also can’t maintain routines. You start them. They work for three days. Then you forget they exist.
EVERYTHING FEELS URGENT
Your ADHD brain treats everything like an emergency. Email. Text. Random thought. Craving.
So when a craving hits, it feels like life or death. Because your brain is telling you it is.
Neurotypical people can dismiss a craving. You can’t.
WHAT ACTUALLY WORKS FOR ADHD BRAINS
Standard tactics don’t work. These do.
EXTERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY
You don’t have willpower. ADHD brains don’t run on willpower.
You need external accountability. Someone you text every day. A community you check into. A person who knows when you’re supposed to be sober.
If it’s just you and your brain, you’ll drink.
IMMEDIATE DOPAMINE REPLACEMENTS
You can’t wait three months to “find joy in sobriety.” You need dopamine NOW.
Video games. Intense exercise. Loud music. Buying something. Creating something. Completing something.
Pick whatever works. You need dopamine. Get it legally.
SHORTER TIME HORIZONS
Don’t commit to forever. Don’t even commit to 30 days.
Commit to right now. Then the next hour. Then tonight.
Your brain can handle that.
ROUTINES WITH ALARMS
You can’t remember routines. So don’t try.
Set alarms for everything.
6pm: Gym
7:30pm: Dinner
9pm: Check in
10pm: Bedtime routine
Your phone remembers when you can’t.
PHYSICAL MOVEMENT WHEN CRAVINGS HIT
Your ADHD brain needs to MOVE when stressed. Sitting with discomfort doesn’t work.
Craving hits? Walk. Run. Do pushups. Move your body until the craving passes.
This isn’t avoidance. This is regulation.
MEDICATION IF YOU NEED IT
Some ADHD people need medication to have enough dopamine to stay sober.
If you’re on ADHD meds, stay on them. If you’re not, consider it. Your brain might need pharmaceutical dopamine to function without alcohol.
NOVELTY, NOT CONSISTENCY
Standard advice says “build consistency.” ADHD brains die of boredom with consistency.
You need novelty. Change your routines every few weeks. Try new things. Keep it interesting.
BODY DOUBLING
ADHD brains work better with someone else present.
Don’t stay sober alone in your apartment. Go to a coffee shop. A library. Anywhere with people.
Your brain focuses better when other humans are around.
CRISIS PROTOCOLS, NOT PREVENTION
You can’t prevent cravings. They’re going to hit. Suddenly. Without warning.
So have a crisis protocol.
Mine: Hot shower. 30 minute timer. Text someone. In that order. Every time.
Your brain can’t remember complex strategies. It can remember three steps.
FORGIVE THE RELAPSES
You’re going to relapse more than neurotypical people. That’s not moral failure. That’s ADHD impulsivity and dopamine deficit.
When you relapse, don’t spiral. Analyze what happened. What was the trigger? What time? What were you feeling?
Then start over.
THE HARD TRUTH
ADHD makes everything harder. Including sobriety.
You’re not imagining it. You’re not weaker than other people. Your brain is literally working against you in ways their brains don’t.
But here’s what I learned staying sober for six years from alcohol with ADHD:
You can do hard things. You just can’t do them the way neurotypical people do them.
You need different tactics. More structure. More accountability. More dopamine replacement. More forgiveness.
You need to stop trying to be neurotypical and start building systems that work for YOUR brain.
I stayed sober through my therapist extorting me for $126,000. Through my best friend dying. Through my family abandoning me. Through career destruction. Through legal warfare.
With ADHD.
If I can do it, you can do it. You just need tactics that actually work for ADHD brains.
Stop using neurotypical strategies. Start using ADHD strategies.
That’s the difference between relapsing forever and actually staying sober.
—Cody Taymore
Kill The Silence
If you’re reading this and trying to quit with ADHD:
I built something for that. It’s called Sober Intelligence.
Free community for people struggling with alcohol. Tactical systems that work when your brain won’t cooperate. No sitting still. No meditation bullshit. Just what actually works for brains like ours.